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How long should I wait to tell his mom?

I'm going to be turning 18 in July, and just found out I'm pregnant with my second child.

I've already decided my family won't find out until after I turn 18, but my fiance (not the father of my first child) says he's "never" telling his mom. "Never" to him means until around 5 months he says.

Should I tell her before that? And if so, how long before and how? (Her and I get along really well I don't want to ruin that lol)

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VonWiggles

Asked by VonWiggles at 7:39 PM on May. 7, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (3)
  • I think that this is something that you and him need to sit down and talk about more, and insist to him that she needs to know prior to you being 5 months along. 5 months along will only allow 4 months for her to get used to it, as opposed to 7 or 8 months.
    AND she is more likely to be more pissed the longer he/you wait.

    I would tell him that she needs to be told before such and such date, and if he doesn't want to do it (really you guys should do it together) then you will do it yourself. Thats what I had to do with my bf and his mom, and he ended up telling her himself.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 7:41 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • Alot of people wait until they're 3 months along. This is for practical reasons - like, if (God forbid) you miscarried. I do think that you should talk to your fiance about this some more. If his family, or yours, is offended by the fact that you didn't tell them soon enough - oh well. Try not to let that get to you. It's a personal decision and you're a big girl. :)
    MommyDumDum

    Answer by MommyDumDum at 7:46 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • I think you need to honor your fiance's wishes. Respect is very important in a relationship. However, he needs to do the same for you, so you two should sit and discuss your reasons and work out a compromise. DON'T go behind his back to his mom. He'll resent you for it, and your primary relationship is with him, not her. Waiting till you're 4 months along seems reasonable to me...people commonly do that anyway.
    goldenfox

    Answer by goldenfox at 8:00 PM on May. 7, 2009

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