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My husband spend the money to move with now what?

I have been fighting myself for months to leave my husband because he spend the money we was suspose to use to move out of the hotel room we share with four kids. He's the only one working right now and makes enought to cover the room payment only. I'm home with our six month old son. If I start working the baby will have to go to daycare then I'll be working for daycare only. If I was to leave him I would have help with the baby and other kids while I work but as long as I stay with him people feel that their father should be helping watch them while I work and they are right. He works one job and not every day either and get under pay. There is no money being saved at all if he has exart money that goes to his bad habits (scratch offs and black and miles). We have really grown apart and I don't think I could be with him any longer need to be. I could do bad all by myself. What do you think?

Answer Question
 
ReReD

Asked by ReReD at 10:15 PM on May. 7, 2009 in Money & Work

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • do you have family to help you out ??? or go too
    nakita72

    Answer by nakita72 at 10:17 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • i think personally, that that is just wrong to do with 4 kids and a wife. You have to put your kids first, he sounds like a little boy. I think you should leave him for awhile and see if he gets off his butt he needs a reality check
    angels4262

    Answer by angels4262 at 10:19 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • I say leave and do it on your own. I would not even thinking about taking him back til he got his act together. I would refuse to bust my ass get an apartment and do everything and let him ride for free. I just say put the kids first. He needs to do alot of growing . The babys don't have time to wait. run run run. Just tell ppl that I know he should help me but he can't even help himself. So how is he going to help you
    akmami0f4

    Answer by akmami0f4 at 10:27 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • Its time to go...you can get help from the state while you get on your feet..sounds like to me he isnt putting his family first.
    Nattiesmom9603

    Answer by Nattiesmom9603 at 10:44 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • Sorry, but it is time that you get on your own feet. I understand that you do not want to work, but what message are you sending to your kids? Mom would rather stay in a horrible marriage with her family in a hotel room than to sacrifice by getting a job, getting assistance and getting out on your own. With four children you can probably work and still get assistance with welfare and daycare assistance. Quit being a victim and take control of your life.

    Magpie75

    Answer by Magpie75 at 11:22 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • I would leave. Do you have anywhere you can go? Any family willing to help you out? If you do, then you pack up you and the kids stuff, and you get out. You need to apply for food stamps if you're not already on it so that you can feed your kids while you are looking for a job and getting on your feet. There are programs that will help you with child care. Go to the DSHS office where you will be and they can tell you all about the programs available. I used to get title XX for my kids daycare while my hubby worked because I was in college full time. You need to show your kids that they mean more to you than you are right now. Single moms do it every day, and it can be done. Good luck!
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 11:46 PM on May. 7, 2009

  • Try to find a social services agency to help you . If you can't locate one, you can find one through a church, synagogue, mosque or hospital. Good luck to you and your children.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:43 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • You know how I feel about it. My offer to come get you and the kids still stands. I will be moving into my new apartment in a couple weeks and we can work it all out however we need to to ensure that all our kids are taken care of. I know you probably wouldn't really want to move here, but remember that you do have options that don't include him at all. I love you, stay strong!
    Mama_Resa

    Answer by Mama_Resa at 10:00 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • I have been there and I have that shirt. It won't be easy at first but the best thing I did for my kids, myself and my ex was to leave. I am now remarried to a good man who takes good care of me, my kids and his two kids. My ex is finally getting his life together also and is just recently remarried. We are all much better off and in a wierd sort of way I feel God lead us all in this path for a reason and that makes me feel better about the whole thing also. Good luck I am praying for you.
    mrsd4366

    Answer by mrsd4366 at 3:37 PM on May. 13, 2009

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