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Different fathers for your kids

My girlfriend who has a child from her first marriage and another child from her second marriage says she will be stigmatized if she has another child, if she has a third marriage. I don't mind her getting tubes tied, but I cringe when she says for this reason. What do you think?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:03 AM on May. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • well at the end she has to live with the decision she makes and if she thinks living with the fact that she has 3 kids by 3 different fathers is worst than getting her tubes tied then thats on her.
    me personally i wouldnt like to have more than one father to my children so i can kind of understand where she is coming from.
    also it must be hard dealing with the fathers after seperation etc. at least she cares and thinks about these kind of things. its gets under my skin when there are men on the maury show saying they got 7 baby mommas or women that have 4 kids by 4 men and its not a big deal!
    glossyblack

    Answer by glossyblack at 2:13 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • which is why i havent had sex since i got pregnant..i have one kid by one guy who's an ass..and now ive just been scared, because i dont wanna get pregnant by a guy im not married to..whereas my babys dad, has a kid with me, another kid with another girl, and is dating another girl..so..lol..yaaa hes a winner!!! so i can sorta see where shes coming from, but i wouldnt go as far as getting my tubes tied just for that sake...thats just part of life (her life)..
    alexis_06

    Answer by alexis_06 at 4:02 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • my sil has five kids by five different guys. And married a sixth guy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:28 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • I think its her decision and by wanting to have her tubes tied she has said whats right for her. Support her decision, its her body and her life, she is the one who has to walk in those shoes and everyone sees things differently.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 8:18 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • GEEEEZ! I've had 5 kids with 3 different husbands. No one, even in our church, looks down on me or my kids. My hubby adopted my two oldest sons. If your GF's new hubby is a good man and is able to do the same, that's great. She'll never know what others will think until she does it, and why let other people's opinions rule over whether you choose to have more kids or not?
    michiganmom116

    Answer by michiganmom116 at 9:00 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • I have 4 kids with 3 different dads, the first one I left, the second one died & I'm married to the third. No one looks down on me for it and even if they did, it's none of their business.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 9:53 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • Seriously, I don't mind whatever she chooses to do. It's okay not to want more kids, it's okay to tie her tubes. I only have issue for her reason. Doing it because she imagines others insults, is too peer pressure mentality. Giving mean minded people more power over her life than loving minded people, if she falls in love again and gets married whether or not she has kids it will be the third husband. She has ex husbands that are good fathers and work well with her. They just were not good husband materrial, so it isn't about avoiding that struggle. She thinks she will look like a slut or be gossiped about to have more than two dads.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • There is a big difference between having children with one person, having that marriage fall apart and meeting someone new and having kids with them and acting like an alley cat and having kids by 6 different men. I have three from my first marriage and 2 from my second.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 10:29 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • I have a family member who has four kids, four dads. They are closely spaced age ranging 2-8 and when I say close I mean 13months at times. She just married the father of her fourth child. Her 5 year old has behavorial issues because he openly admits he angry at his mom b/c of all of this. (he told his therapist!)
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 12:22 AM on May. 9, 2009

  • my sister has 2 kids and 2 dads. She's dating a guy now and ttc.....I think its kinda slutty, but thats just this instance where my sister really is kinda slutty.........she'll do anything for money. Maybe not out right prostitution, but she'll use it to get what she wants.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 AM on May. 9, 2009

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