Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

my daughters biological father never wanted anything to do with my daughter,

so i was seeing my bestfriend all the way threw my pregnancyand when ahe was 3weeks old we were officially a couple and we've been together ever since and my daughter knows him as her daddy, but her biological dad decided when she was 2 that he wanted to be involved,she knows him by his name and she see's im once a week and has seen his mum and dad once a week since she was born and knows them as her nan and grandad but im just don't no when to tell her the man she knows as *bob is her biological father she is now 3 1/2

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:16 AM on May. 8, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (6)
  • I'd hold off a while. i didn't explain the concept of biological parents to my daughter until she was almost 8. it won't mean anything to her at this age.

    Answer by plylerjones at 5:51 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • You should have been telling her the whole time. She is young, why can't she have dads? In this situation it sound ok. Why deceive her? Maybe her bio-dad started off on the wrong foot, but he came to his senses much more quickly than many other men. I'd tell her now, that she has 2 dads. I bet it will be no big deal. If you wait, she may be really confused. You could also consult a child therapist for guidance. I think it is great you found someone, and he loves her, just don't dismiss her bio-dad. You wouldn't have her, the way she is, without him.

    My mom lied to me until I was 15 about my bio-dad.  We have issues now that I've met him at age 37.  Your situation has lots of room for growth, and making good choices.  I commend you for having bio-dad's family in the picture.  Your child is lucky to have you, bio-dad, and her father figure. 


    Answer by Teachermom01 at 6:46 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • My step son tells everyone he has two mommys and two daddys...he says im a lucky kid.. Lol, we never exsplained it to him, and he is 5 now...he just knows

    Answer by Jaydensmamma988 at 9:07 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • I agree, you should never hid a biological parent from a child. If he did not see her fine, but there was no reason to not tell her of his existance and explain that even though your current man is not her BF he is still daddy because he does all the things a daddy should. I would tell her asap, beleive me it will be easier now rather than when she is 6. Tell her she is lucky because your current BF picked her to be a daddy to, no one made him. The truth shall set you free! Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • it doesnt sound like she hid it, but it didnt need to be brought up until she was 2. so i i dont think you did anything wrong there. i would wait though. when she starts asking since it sounds like there are some visitations and things, that is when i would start talking about it. however, if she never questions it, i would tell her maybe around 7 or 8. It sort of depends on the kid. either way i wish you luck. i know its hard.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 1:17 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • I would hold off till she asks questions. I beleive I was in 1st grade when I connected the dots. Don't hide it from her, but dont try to explain it either. At this age, it would just confuse her for a moment,t hen she would probably forget about it anyway.

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 2:33 PM on May. 8, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.