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hubby is pissed at me for not wanting to stay 3 frickin months at his parents house

So my husband works in Alaska for the railroad, while me and our daughter are still in Reno. I am almost done with school, and then we will move back to Alaska. We all lived in Reno, but he got a good job offer in Alaska, so that is why he went back. Anyways, we go visit him in the summer time, while he visits us throughout the year. He is going to be working in some remote locations this summer and that means I would need to stay at his parents house and only see him on the weekends. So I compromised and said I would stay for 3 weeks. I don't wanna stay 3 months at his parents house while he is at work in the middle of nowhere, and I only see him on the weekends. We got in a fight and he said I was careless and I need to sacrifice for our family. He is all alone in a tent while working in those places and he would love to drive home to see us for the weekend. If we had a house there I would love that. But we dont. Am I wrong?

 
Mom2Rylin

Asked by Mom2Rylin at 6:15 AM on May. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,198 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • While I can see your side of things, and I wouldn't want to stay with inlaws that long like that either, I do kind of agree with him. He is making a huge sacrifice by being away from you guys like this, to work and provide for your family. He is asking you to come there so that he can come home and see you when he is able. While I do realize how hard this would be on you, think about how hard it must be on him, to be working so hard to provide for you guys and he can't even see you. And I would imagine his feelings are quite hurt. I know you didn't say it, but I bet when you told him you'd stay 3 weeks, he probably heard "you're not important enough for me to stay more than 3 weeks." I know that isn't what you meant, but often people hear things in our words that aren't there b/c of hurt feelings and pride. I'd consider changing my mind, if I were in your shoes. Good luck!
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:21 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • It depends. I would want to be close to my husband... how do you get along with his parents? It might be a good time, a little vacation of sorts. That is if his mom isn't a super hoseblitch... kwim?
    Gremlyn

    Answer by Gremlyn at 6:21 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • y not go ahead and get a house there?
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 6:29 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • I don't see what the big deal is. Think of all the money you'll save in that three months! I guess it depends on how you get along with your in laws. My MIL passed away 4 years ago, and I would have loved to have the chance to stay with them for 3 months before she passed. I would take it as a positive change! Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:02 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • I agree with all other posters - also = 3 months is a very short time in life. If it were 3 Years, that may be alittle harder but 3 months. Think about it. GL. :)
    bristle3kids

    Answer by bristle3kids at 7:13 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • Three months will go very quickly. My son stayed here between his house and apartment. I understand the emotions of wanting to be near him, but this causing fights and bad feelings, so it may be time to make peace and do as he asks.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:31 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • I think you're comfortable not seeing him. More then you should be. If it were me I would have moved when he moved. Maybe you should examine your feelings and your relationship. There is more going on here then you are admitting to. Even to yourself.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 8:10 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • How well do u get along with his family even at that sometimes it is hard to put 2 women in the house at the same time.I would really think about it.If u do talk to his family first and see what they expect of u while staying there such as housework, if they want u to pay something and how much and if they want u to cook certian nights of the week if u can do your laundry there such things as that that way from the get go u are all on the same page and how much is grandma going to put her 2 sense in with your daughter.I wish u luck I tried this with my sons girlfriend and we think much of each other but we could not live together it lasted 1 month.Good luck I also envy u for getting to Alaska I live in Illinois and my dream is to visit Alaska
    mom2fivekids579

    Answer by mom2fivekids579 at 9:01 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • I think you are being unreasonable ... I totally understand where he is coming from. He is sacrificing for his family, you should do the same. If my DH was working long distance, I would jump at every chance to see him. And I would die being alone with the kids with no help. I would welcome to opportunity to live with my in laws. They could help with the children and it wouldn't be so loney. And your children may really like having their grandparents around all the time to get to know better. Also think of all the money you could be saving by living with his parents. Not sure if you would pay rent, but I'm sure it would be cheaper than paying for a mortgage and utilities.
    ap9902

    Answer by ap9902 at 9:29 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • I don't think I'd want to live with my inlaws for even a week let alone 3 months so I'm not sure what I'd do in your situation but my recommendation is to get a house there yourself, or buy an RV or something so that you don't have to live in the same house with them. I do think he thinks you're being selfish because he's gone year around so he's sacrificing 12 months so you're not even willing to sacrifice 1/4 of that time but I do see both sides. I'd get the RV or rent a house but I'd likely go. I think he should come home and ya'll have a family meeting because the kids would be sacrificing their summer too (imagine leaving all of your friends for 3 months... by the time you get back they've all got new best friends). I don't know how old your kids are, but I'd have to consider that.
    Think about the house/RV and discuss it as a family with everyone having equal time with no interuptions to give their feelings.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:43 AM on May. 8, 2009