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My husband is so anti-social it might be ruining our marriage.

My husband seemed to be very social when we started dating 6 yrs. ago. He was always hanging out w/ friends and going to parties. Then life happened, we had a child, got married, had another child and now we have a third on the way. Our 2nd is almost 2 now and the baby isn't due for another couple of months. I want to go and have some fun while we can. Unfortunately, he doesn't want anything to do with it. I'm a stay at home mom and need to get out once in awhile. Whenever I suggest going to a friends get together he says no b/c he doesn't like crowds. Whenever I suggest going to a B&B for a night he says he has a bed right here at home and knows how to cook. When I try to just go somewhere alone he gets upset w/ me. I ask him why he's changed so much and he says he was only social back then b/c he drank all the time and that this is the real him. What should I do? I feel like I have no life.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on May. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Tell him what it's doing to you and your marriage, you have to be honest.
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:01 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • I agree with Zakysmommy,

    I'd have to step out on my own.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • There is no reason why YOU can't go and enjoy yourself. There is no law that says you guys have to be together. My SO is the same way. He'd much rather sit at home and do nothing then do ANYTHING without my little guy. It drives me nuts. So I had to make a decision. He is that way, there's nothing I can do about it, but there is no reason why I can't be the social person I am and enjoy some "adult" time. Whether he's there or not.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 11:03 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • Is there a chance that he's depressed?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • wow it's like a mirror image of my life. except my husband will go a few place with out me and say that it's just the guys that no one elses wives will be there.....I agree with Zaksmommy you are just going to have to sit him done (if it even helps because it doesn't with my hubby) and tell him how it's affecting you. Maybe he is just going through a funk. His life has changed drastically...hopefully he will be able to pull hisself out of it.
    luvsgriffin

    Answer by luvsgriffin at 11:05 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • My DH doesn't like crowds either and is pretty much a home body. I just tell him "Me and Eldon are going to __________, wanna come?" If he does he does if he doesn't he doesn't. (Alot of the time he DOES, especially if I tell him that I need help with DS while we are there.)
    jenellemarie

    Answer by jenellemarie at 11:18 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • Go out with out him if he refuses to join you. And if he tells you No then tell him to F off. He's not your owner. Plan out a babysitter or something. My husband is kind of the same way. We do go out together to the movies a couple times a month but I can never get him to hang out with friends. He will only hang out with his friends on a rare occasion. It is healthy to have your social time away from each other and with each other. I do mean healthy. When you are a SAHM it is different though. My husband considers going to work getting out and seeing the world and I can understand that. I have accepted that I can't get my man to go back out to the party scene. He'll probably go to the bar with me on occasion when I turn 21. So I just go out to my friends house on Friday night. It's kind of my thing and he doesn't mind as long as I don't come home too late. But do make sure you establish a date night with him. Very important.
    Tickledtrauma

    Answer by Tickledtrauma at 11:31 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • sometimes we see the real person after a while then we have to accept who they really are or walk away
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:32 AM on May. 8, 2009

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