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Slapped in the face


So to make a long story short, our 12 year old got into trouble this week for not going to school in the morning and skipping classes., she was not going inside when she was dropped off by the school bus. This morning her dad told her he would be driving her there on his way to work, and he would be walking her inside and to her first class, and also would be picking her up the same way.
I am pretty sure the gates of hell opened up when she heard this, because I have never seen her so angry and upset, she started crying and screaming, threw all her books against the wall and slapped Dh right across his face. We were in shock to put it simply. He was too upset to deal with her, so I drove her to school myself and he told her we would deal with this when she got home.
I am at a loss on what to do or say at this point, and dh is so angry he can't see straight. How do you think would be best to deal with this problem?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on May. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I would stick to your guns. No need for yelling, hopefully dad can calm down (it would take me a while though) if anything, i would encourage your husband to express how much she hurt his feelings. Not only is he mad, but I'm sure his heart broke when his sweet lil daughter slapped him. Let her know how much she broke his heart. Still stick to your guns though. Just tell her you'll continue doing this until she can learn to behave. Your actions speak louder than words, you don't really have to say much. I would take away even more freedom. I would take away her ipod, or cell phone, or whatever it is that she loves SO much. Tell her you love her, & that if this is the only way you can get her to behave, then you will keep taking rights away until she can learn to act more mature. If she wants to act like a young child, then she can be treated like one & have her favorite things taken away.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:42 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • Oh that girl would have NO privileges! NONE for who the hell knows how long. All she would be doing is breathing, going to and from school, eating, peeing and pooping!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • do you think maybe she is getting bullied at school or something else may be going on that she needs to talk to?? See if the counselor at school can talk to her. I would punish her however for slapping her father. Take her tv/radio/phone/ipod what ever she does for fun away. sit down and ask her what is going on? tell her you are there for her and whatever it is can stay between mother and daughter. get her to open up. take her out to dinner just the two of you and maybe go out for ice cream after. see if you can get her to tell you why she doesnt want to go to school and where she goes after..good luck
    2wndrfl_btrflys

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 11:38 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • Lock down. That is incredibly disrespectful. No phone, no tv, no computer. No friends over, etc. I agree with the pp! If you don't nip this in the bud now, then she will continue to do this and it will become a HUGE issue. Make her do chores around the house, etc.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 11:39 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • That is tough, when she gets home you need to have a prepared list of her punishment, and a set time limit on her punishment, days to be added for any minor infraction...
    someone else on here placed some military school brochures strategically and that whipped her 13 year old boy into shape quick. maybe she needs to go for a visit to a military school or even juvy detention center (sometimes they'll give tours and such to show her what life will be like if she keeps up this behaviour)
    LuckyClown

    Answer by LuckyClown at 11:46 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • I do not think that the slapping in the face is the big problem here. Yes is was disrespectful but there is a reason why she is not wanting to go to school. You need to find the underlying problem here as to why she reacted the way she did. She could be getting bullied, pressured by friends to do something, sexually harassed, something with a teacher. something is going on. Yes punish her for expressing her anger or fear in an aggressive manner. I am not saying dismiss the slap. but find out what is going on.
    2wndrfl_btrflys

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 11:46 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • I believe if you tried to lock down your daughter in your home, she'll sneak away as she's doing at school. I would see if there's pro-forma type of scared straight program. Ask if your city's jail can do this (hopefully for free).
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on May. 8, 2009

  • Agree with PPs, all priveliges should be suspended, but it also sounds like something more is happening. Sit her down and try to find out why she doesn't want to go to school so bad that she would slap her own father. As for saying she would sneak out, you're just going to have to work that much harder to make sure she doesn't. GL!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • ya the slap in the face was definitly wrong and she should be punished but my thinking is that there is a reason why she isnt going to school. i think she may be getting bullied.i would come to the root of the problem also cause if you just punish her and there is something else going on it will continue...
    raineydays377

    Answer by raineydays377 at 12:22 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • Ok, this is from a friend of mine: Call CPS and tell them the situation. If they won't come and get her, then call the police and tell them you want to file charges for assault. Do it with her right there. Scare the crap out of her. Also, get online and look up behavior modifaction programs for girls. Residential ones and leave the info lying around so she can see it. Give her a wake up call. Have the police come out and talk to her when she gets home from school and freak her out.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 12:36 PM on May. 8, 2009