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Should I encourage SKIDs to call me "mom" if they want to when BM is still in SKIDs' life or should I suggest they call me by my name?

Is it really a good idea for the SKIDs to call their step-mom "mom" when our family interacts regularly with BM, even if the SKIDs want to call their step-mom that? Is it opening the door for future conflicts if the BM becomes insecure?

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cary717

Asked by cary717 at 12:51 PM on May. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (14)
  • They should call you by your first name.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • As a s-mom myself, this one is easy for me. My hubby and I have been together for 15 years and when his kids were young they asked what they should call me. I told them whatever they felt comfortable with. The decision was made that I would be Momma Mikki, and that has worked for us.
    kustomkrochet

    Answer by kustomkrochet at 12:59 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • i have a step daughter..which is very hard because she is 13 and when i met my husband she was 7 ...its so weird because by my age i cant be her mother because me and my husband are 10 yrs apart..i got used to her calling me by my nickname..it doesnt bother me at all..i am fine with it..she sees me more as a friend than a step mom..
    brisa1984

    Answer by brisa1984 at 12:59 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • You should not allow this since their mother is around, it's just inappropriate.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:00 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • Sorry, I know you likely love your step kids allot however the title of mom is already taken.... For a mom to hear her kids call another woman mom.... it's very painful no matter the situation. Perhaps you can choose a nick name or something as such so they don't have to call you by your first name and it won't confuse the children.
    Wildkitten82

    Answer by Wildkitten82 at 1:00 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • Momsie, perhaps? Mimmie? Momma Cary?
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 1:04 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • My kids have a step dad and a dad, a mom and a soon to be step mom, the soon to be step mom is kind of rushing the "mom" issue from what my kids have told me. I simply explained the difference to them, but I let them make the choice. As their mother I am glad that they feel so comfortable with this other woman that they think of her as a mother figure, they spend every other weekend with them.

    I think calling her "step mom" just isn't going to happen, it's not easy to say every time you want to call to them. they call their dads both "daddy (name) " but they do know which one made them and which one takes care of them. I do draw the line at them calling me "mommy michelle" I am mommy... the only one, but if they want to call her "mommy (name)" then I will not stand in their way.-
    LuckyClown

    Answer by LuckyClown at 1:09 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • I should add that the only reason they started calling their step dad "daddy" is because their father was absent from their lives for almost two years- so my husband is really the only dad they knew. whe their BF came back into their lives they had to add the name, and both are really just called daddy, unless they are asked which one they are talking about.
    LuckyClown

    Answer by LuckyClown at 1:11 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • I have a relative with it in the divorce decree that the kids are not allowed to call the step-parent mom or dad.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:17 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • i think the kids should just call their step parent what they are comfortable with. my SS sometimes calls me mommy but not very often. he is 5 and i have been around since he was 3. i am called mommy when referrenced toward my little baby 10 months old. other than that i am called by my name. i only ask the kids to refer to me as mommy when dealing with their sister. ex: SS says, "go to mommy, sissy." normally not a thing but a couple of times i have had to tell him that i am mommy to her. and that she will call me mommy. because he siad go to my name one time.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 1:29 PM on May. 8, 2009

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