Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Parenting styles

Just looking for everyone's thoughts in general.

What causes some parents to be very over protective of their kids? Not letting them out of their sight for a minute or spending the night at someone's house (even grandma's!). While other parents let their kids get away with anything, go anywhere do anything. What do you think contributes most to different pareting styles?

I'm bored at work so trying to kill some time :)

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on May. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • People tend to be opposite of how they were raised I guess. I had a parent that let me do what ever I wanted whenever and I couldn't imagine not keeping tabs on my LO. I am not super strict but I am very picky about who I leave her with She is only 2 so.... get back to me in a few years lol
    heather.darin

    Answer by heather.darin at 2:39 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • I think childhoods contribute to most of it. Lets say you had an over protective and over bearing mother growing up, I think that might lead some to want to be the opposite. I also think our culture and how we think other veiw us personally as mothers contributes to how we choose to parent as well. There are so many factors.

    Some people are just control freaks and feel that they have to control every aspect of their child life and can't let go and let others do things differently.... and other are just really lazy and don't want to be bothered by the responsibility of parenting.... both are damaging personalities...

    in all fairness, its not easy to find that perfect balance between the two, (relaxed and responsible)... but I find over the years I feel more and more balanced as the months go by.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 2:42 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • i'm sure it has a lot do do with the parent's childhood. the media also tends to change minds. seems like all they talk about is kidnappers, rapists...sexual offenders on the loose in your neighborhood, shootings....stuff that makes the kids get locked in the house. my son is only 1, so he is sheltered, but I think i'm gonna be in-between. I wont breathe down my sons neck, but I will cut the cord lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • I think a lot of it has to do with society. I am very protective of my children but i do not believe i am over protective. the news and reports of missing or abducted kids worry me every day. when i was growing up i was not allowed to spend the night or visit a friend unless my parents drove me there themselves and spoke with the parents. i will be the same way with my kids. I will never leave them alone in the house even if they are old enough or responsible enough. you never know who could be waiting to get to your child. I know I can't protect them from everything, but i would hate myself if I didn't do what I could to keep them safe.

    but people parent in different ways and we cannot judge people for doing what they think is best..after all it is their family, their business. We all make mistakes. that is what makes us parents and what will make us stronger in the end. You learn from mistakes and hope other people do too.
    2wndrfl_btrflys

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 2:51 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • i do the opp of the way my parnets did me.. they didnt care at all, my grandparnts raised me and when i came along they were just tired...
    HottMamaRossx2

    Answer by HottMamaRossx2 at 2:52 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • I think it is mostly your personality. Laid back people tend to be more laid back with their kids. Uptight people are more uptight. I hate to admit I am more uptight than laid back. I'm better about it with the grandkids than with my natural born kids. I WANT to be more laid back but it's almost like afraid of losing control of whats going on. Okay, okay..so Im a control freak too..LOL. It's a really hard line to walk. Trying to be sure they are safe and know what they are doing without being in their face 24/7 and not giving them the chance to figure things out alone sometimes.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 3:09 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • IDK... I personally never leave my kids with a sitter unless I have no choice. My 6 year old daughter does spend the night at grandma's now. She did not start spending the night until she was 6... I just did not think she was ready, she still came into my room at night to get a hug... Many people say well if you don't allow her to spend the night or if you don't send the kids to the sitter then they'll have problems later in life... well my daughter was the only 5 year old in her kindergarten class that did not cry or have problems, she's very social, friendly and excels in her schooling. My son is two, the longest he's been away from me is about 3 hours, it's all he can cope with at this time and it will increase over time but I believe to push it will cause problems...I wonder why parents that leave their children with sitters all the time bothered to have children, if they don't spend that much time with them.
    Wildkitten82

    Answer by Wildkitten82 at 3:14 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • I am laid back. My mom was almost bi-polar in her parenting style. One minute she was helicopter mom and the next she was a free-rage one. I was a confused kid growing up. I didn't know whether to stand still or run free.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 3:30 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • *rage=range
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 3:30 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • There are so many factors that go into this. Some say parents will do opposite of how they were raised, but at the same time, much of who we are, as parents, was laid down in our earliest years of development (before explicit memory was developed) based on how we were parented. This is where family cycles are created, unknowingly. If, as an adult, you are aware of things and can change them, then you are more likely to parents as you see fit, not as your parents did. If you are rebelling against the way you were brought up, then you may do the opposite. If you are unknowingly stuck in a cycle, then you will likely parent exactly as you were parented. Each person goes through their own journey in life to become the parent they are...some people are more aware of themselves and can make some changes, while some just do what was done to them because they don't really know how to do otherwise.
    JPsMommy605

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 3:37 PM on May. 8, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.