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Can anyone tell me what...? [Child Custody/Divorce Question]

Can anyone tell me [generally] what the laws are about child custody in a divorce in regards to the mother and father and/or what the criteria would be for a state to take a child away from their mother(for a child who will be one in June)? My husband is threatening to start a child custody battle with me, and though I'm not REALLY worried, as he has no grounds to try and get her taken away from me, I'm just curious as to what the statutes for that type of thing are. I have no idea.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on May. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Unfortunately, court is not about "truth, justice, and the American way" but rather who tells the better story. Get an attorney who can out-talk him or his attorney.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 4:49 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • Make sure you get a lawyer. I was told by the JUDGE himself that ANY person that doesnt have representation when it comes to their kids, it means they have NOTHING to do with them and dont care! ( Dont bash me bc of what the judge here told me. ) Any kind of PROOF would benefit you as well.

    SweetKYmom

    Answer by SweetKYmom at 4:52 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • Just for a little background...my husband has been out of our home by his own choice for two months now and hasn't bothered to assist financially or otherwise. Before he left he was also committing adultery, doing and selling drugs (so I found out), and wasn't even working a regular job...and since he has been gone he has continued to be the same manipulative and dishonest person he, apparently, has always been. I've pretty much been our daughter's sole caretaker since day one. Also, I don't believe he even has the money to start a huge custody battle. Anyhow... -OP
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:54 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • he would have to somehow give the court evidence that you are an un-fit mother. That can be hard to do. Does he have anything that could look bad against you?
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:56 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • Most of the time, they will award primary custody to the mother unless they have real reason not to. Document every phone call, every threat, the time he moved out, EVERYTHING. See if you have proof of anything, like papers he may have left or emails he may have sent. And get an attorney, one that specializes in child custody cases. Considering the fact that he has been essentially absent for a while, and not helping support you, I would say that your odds of getting her taken away are very slim, however he will probably get visitation.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 4:58 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • Well I used to work closely with DCF or DSS and for them to take a child out of the home they would have to see neglect, evidence of drug and alcohol use, physical and mental abuse to the children. It has to be at the extreme. They have services for people that need a lawyer and can't afford one, you just have to research that in your state(I don't know what state your in) You shouldn't fight him without someone representing you and the children. My guess is, from what you posted, ESPECIALLY since he hasn't paid for his kids since he left, and the drugs(if you can prove that) he probably won't get more than visitation or at the most 1/2 custody, but I highly doubt full custody. Good luck and don't give up, no matter what!
    jasey929

    Answer by jasey929 at 5:03 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • Honestly, and I'm not just saying this to make myself look better to you all or something, but I HONESTLY don't think there is anything he really could say against me. I do, also, have a lot of people in the community that I live in that were friends of mine and his and ours together that would be able to vouch for me in many ways. Like I said, I'm not really worried about her getting taken away from me, but I'd rather be prepared and know what to expect then be clueless. -OP
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:08 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • You can call and talk to a lawyer who knows the ins and outs of family law in your state but from what you've said, I think it's all bark and no bite. He left (abandonment of you and the child), he committed adultery (grounds for divorce) and he's not supporting his child. He's not getting anything.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 5:21 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • check out www.womenslaw.org and link to KNOW THE LAWS
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:23 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • Its all about providing as much proof as you can the the parent is unfit...Does your child miss more school with you than the other parent, Living conditions, any history of drug use or violence... And if he goes and requests something outrageous like Full custody with no grounds of neglect they will not side with him, theres no way. Its ALL about whats in the childs best interest and in the eyes of the court, its having both parents around equally unles it conficts with the childs well being. Say the child has been at one school all his/or her life and the father wants to move 2 hours away, they wont uproot the child is he/she is thriving to give the dad 50/50 custoday, thats his problem and he needs to live closer to get more time. You should have nothing to worry about! :)
    heatherette07

    Answer by heatherette07 at 6:46 PM on May. 8, 2009

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