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Would you tell your best friend about a rumor?

My best friend has been with this guy for about 2 years. I heard about a month ago from another friend (who heard it from another friend who heard it from the guy's best friend) that this guy was going to break up with my best friend. I told her that people were talking about her and said something that her guy's friend said, but I wouldn't say what it was. Two weeks ago the guy did break up with my friend. Now I feel extremely guilty because she's very upset about it. I'm not sure if I should have told her. I didn't tell her at the time because a)it's a rumor and b)I didn't want her to think I was trying to start something between them. But now I think it would have made things quicker and maybe less painful in the end...? What would you have done in my situation? Would you tell your friend now (after the fact) that you knew it was possibly coming?

 
lebrbria

Asked by lebrbria at 4:53 PM on May. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (21 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Well, it has been my experience that when you reveal that you know after the fact it makes you look bad. The "why didn't you tell me" kind of thing. My BFF was married to my step-brother-in-law. I found out after they divorced that he cheated on her. I never told her, there was so much bad stuff that I just didn't want to add to her pain. So, it comes up later I confess and things were never the same. My advice: Just forget what you heard and don't tell her you knew. I know this sounds wrong, but it's not going to do her any good to know that you knew it was coming. I imagine she'd even feel a little humiliated. Just be there for her and try to get her to steer clear of this guy!

    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 11:08 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • I almost had my marriage ruined over something like this. Stay out of it. Rumors are vicious things and need to be squashed!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:57 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • I would'nt tell my friend~ she's already upset~ and even if you had told her before, it would'nt have prevented the breakup. Just be supportive and willing to let her vent it out until shes's over the jerk~ any guy who goes around telling others about his breakup plans belongs back in high school!
    Peggy1984

    Answer by Peggy1984 at 4:57 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • I would tell her all I knew. She is my friend after all. God bless.
    mo2a27

    Answer by mo2a27 at 5:05 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • I would say the guy's best friend...ISN'T. That is private stuff and your best friend's ex boyfriend probably told his best friend to keep it quiet. He didn't.

    So, no....I don't think you did the wrong thing by not saying anything to your best friend. It wasn't your information to tell her....it was her boyfriend's (now ex).

    Besides, you didn't know if it was true. I think you acted responsibly by not perpetuating what might have been a rumor.

    I'm sorry your friend lost her boyfriend. But, I wonder what took him so long to break up with her if this "rumor" started a month ago? Maybe he wasn't such a great guy after all?

    timelessglass

    Answer by timelessglass at 5:17 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • Thanks for all the answers so far. I think I should clarify a few things...first, they are college-age. Second, this is like the 3rd or 4th time he's broken up with her and for some reason, she keeps going back to him. My friend is so torn up about this whole thing that in a week and a half, she's lost 10 lbs. and she didn't really have 10 lbs. to spare. She can barely eat and she cries over the smallest things. Hmm...I think I just answered my own question.
    lebrbria

    Answer by lebrbria at 5:21 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • I'm more "in your face' about that type of stuff. i would have waited until he was there with us and then I'd say Hey I hear from the grapevine you are going to break up with ..... Let him face her and the rumors. However, it's done now. She'll hurt for a while then she'll get on with it. Take the opportunity to ask her what she would have wanted you to do so you'll know next time
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:22 PM on May. 8, 2009