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living with your ex...

o.k so me and my husband were together for 16 yrs. we have two children 15 and 11. He reacently decided he " did'nt want to be in a relationship with me anymore" , the kids seem to be adjusting just fine .We don't argue or really even talk to eachother.What led us to this point is a VERY long story. There is still a lot of joy and laughter in our home only now it's either between me and the kids or him and the kids. The thing is,I am very confused about this whole thing, I still love him very much and my heart breaks everytime he walks by, I miss him, he still sleeps in the same damn bed as me but I'm not aloud to reach out to him! Financially,there is no way either of us can leave yet. Any ideas on how to keep my sanity through this?

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flowerchid72

Asked by flowerchid72 at 6:27 PM on May. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (83 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • FIRST GET OUT THE BED!!!!!!!! thats why yall are having mixed feelings. Your never be able to let go if yall are still sleepin in the same bed . Yall really still do go together just nothing to enjoy in the bed.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:37 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • My ex and I did that and we got along a lot better and the kids felt like they were not being torn apart. I slept like a baby. He was there. He was home with me and the kids. I didn't push it for more. After a while I saved up and moved out but it worked well for us. Sanity? No one guarantees sanity in life. If you are going to be forced to live like that and not leave then enjoy what you do get. Sometimes settling isn't awful.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:04 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • I would love for us to get " along" but but when the kids are'nt looking,all I get from him is this horrible indifference and contempt ,no love at all.I just can't bring myself to settle for that, expecially after 16 yrs. of love and support.
    flowerchid72

    Answer by flowerchid72 at 7:59 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • I've been there and you need to get out even if you have to live with someone. you will never get over him if ur heartaches and it sucks to be unhappy everyday.
    persuasion91297

    Answer by persuasion91297 at 9:55 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • If you still love him, there's still hope that things will change I think. If he hated you he would sleep on the couch or a spare room or something like that.
    Me... I'd be working ever way I could to get him to fall in love with me again. When people are around happy people they tend to feel happy...
    Whichever way you end up going, I hope it works out for you.
    Best of Luck :)
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:19 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • Get him in his own room. when my dh and I had some issues we had discussed him moving into one of the boys rooms. Financially we are tethered and we are the titanic!! :D But we did work it out, but I think that you really have to physically seperate, even if it's in the same house! Just get him out of your room!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • i'd make him sleep on the couch, what a poo head.
    mandielynn23

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 1:34 AM on May. 10, 2009

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