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Anyone else have a husband who refuses to do stuff?

Like paying bills, registering the cars, taking cars into emissions, going to the store, ordering a pizza, making phone calls, figuring out health benefits, etc. You know the regular things that have to be done to keep a household running He won't do any of them. He wants me to do it all. And when I take a stand and say he needs to grow up and start taking some responsibility then he gets mad at me, pouts, and then it DOESN'T get done. We have had to pay late fees and deal with other problems from things that I told him he had to do and he wouldn't! I am SOOO fed up. His mom did everything for him growing up. Including pouring his cereal and milk. Also he did not have a dad growing up so he had no father figure. How can it get it into his head that he is a man, husband, and father now.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:07 PM on May. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I have somewhat of the same problem and I still haven't figured out what to do. So GL!
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 7:11 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • i'm sorry you're going through all the headache mama, i don't have any advice either. i do almost everything but it's because my husband works really long hours and travels a lot.

    having a mom like he has worked against him and sadly, you! you just have to tell him you're not his mom.
    JackalsWife

    Answer by JackalsWife at 7:12 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • Would it help to make two lists, one of your household tasks and one of his, so that he sees that you do your share, too? I don't have much hope for this to work, but I can't think of anything else.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:17 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • I use a dry erase board and post it somewhere where he can see it regularly. He gets 3 larger things to do a week and then the regular stuff that I expect him to do. This has been helping some. I wish you luck. Mine works from home and has to go in ( which is to him mom's cause he works for her) about once a week and can't manage that most of the time.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 7:22 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • yea, going through this with mine right now, how is it that they think they already do so much, at least that's the response i get. ugh, sorry not very helpful, but i can definatly empathise
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 8:02 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • I just do the stuff. He would if I asked, but it's my job, so I do it. If I need him to do something, I ask him, and he does it. I'm not on his case all the time, though, so I think he's more willing to do the things I do ask of him.

    Was he like this before you married? If so, then it's not really a surprise to you, is it?
    misselphaba

    Answer by misselphaba at 8:11 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • Why did you get with a man who you seem to think has so many flaws? Hopefully you knew him before you married him. And now you want to change him. Why? You loved him before didn't you?
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 8:21 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • I have a son and I tried so hard not to do that to him. So many mothers baby there sons and it just makes them weak sorry men. I never wanted that , I always taught him to fend for himself becasue I told him momma isn't always going to be around. I really do not know what you can do right not it is either deal with it or not. I do not think he will change.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 10:05 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • I had one of those..He was always scared i guess to do things and I felt so pressured. It made me feel bad sometimes because i wanted to feel taken care of and with him I didn't. I felt like his mom. That played a BIG part in our breakup!
    mother.of2

    Answer by mother.of2 at 10:52 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • Well, lets just say that our water was disconnected because it was his responsibility to handle it. Then my car got broken into and I couldn't do it! (stole money, cards etc) I do 99% of everything, he does go out and earn the money. But he does what he wants and it's never paying bills or housework.

    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 10:55 PM on May. 8, 2009

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