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How old is too old to allow your child to cosleep?

My cousin lets her almost 10 yr old control when and where she sleeps, usually in her mom's bed. I told her she needs to stop now because her daughter will be married and sleeping in her bed with her and her husband lol. I stopped mine from sleeping in my bed by 2 and now her dad lets her sleep in his bed when she is there for the weekend and now she begs to sleep in mine! UGH! Why does one parent always undermind the other's RULES?!!


Asked by BlendedMommy009 at 8:20 PM on May. 8, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (15)
  • I think it depends on how the parents feel about it. A child I know who is still cosleeping at that age (actually he's 12) is doing it against his parents wishes. He refuses to sleep in his room and has a tantrum if he's told no. Of course the cosleeping issue is one of many. He refuses to go school regularly, his eating habits are out of control in spite of health concerns, he is in general completely over indulged. In this family, cosleeping isn't the issue, it's just one symptom of a much larger problem.

    If the parents don't mind the cosleeping and the child is well adjusted and independent I don't see why there has to be a set age to end cosleeping. I didn't do it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't work for other people.


    Answer by MAUREEN55 at 9:53 AM on May. 9, 2009

  • I say no cosleeping from day one! LOL This is just my opinion, however most people I know that cosleep only do so for about 6 - 8 weeks.

    Answer by finallyamom40 at 8:22 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • Because it makes that parent the 'good' parent and the one that has the rules is the 'bad' parent, we're going through that with my ss too, it's tough but don't bend on your'll only get worse!
    I do think that 10 years old is too old to be sleeping with her mom! IMO 3 or 4 is good. My dd always slept by herself but a few months ago she started climbing in our bed in the middle of the night, she's 3 1/2 and I would drag myself out of bed to put her back in her bed not because I don't like snuggling and holding my little baby but for her own good I want her to be comfortable enough to sleep by herself ALL night and not get to the point where she 'needs' to sleep with me or she can't sleep at all, I want more for my kid than that.

    Answer by mommabear2008 at 8:26 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • How old is too old? When she doesn't want to go to college dorms because she would have to sleep in her own bed.
    We sleep with our spouses for comfort, so what's so wrong with a child wanting to sleep with their sole provider and source of comfort?

    Answer by RanaAurora at 9:14 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • it is not so much a comfort issue with my cousins child as it is a control issue. she often gets her way with everything and knows it. she will never learn to be independent or learn to self soothe if she doesn't sleep in her own bed more than once a month.

    Answer by BlendedMommy009 at 9:55 PM on May. 8, 2009

  • Um, she'll learn just fine. Co-sleeping isn't some problem that saps self-soothing and independence. If those are issues, they're from a lot bigger problem than where she sleeps at night.

    Answer by RanaAurora at 12:55 AM on May. 9, 2009

  • Mine were all around 5-6 years old when they stopped sleeping with us and around 7 or 8 when they stopped coming in here and there to sleep with us. They are now adults and are just fine.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 AM on May. 9, 2009

  • I'm with Rana.

    Answer by NoNonsenseMama at 2:01 AM on May. 9, 2009

  • At 5am, my bed is free range to all the kids. They are 5,5,8,and 10. Occasoionally, after a nightmare, or a traumatic day, we let them get away with wandering earlier. We got two queen sized beds and attached them together to make room for our growing children.

    Answer by 3gifts.from.god at 2:22 AM on May. 9, 2009

  • My son is 10 and although he has gotten a lot better, he still likes to sneak in either because he had a nightmare or he was cold and just wanted to be close to me. I have been divorced for 8 ears and raising him by myself, I can understand he might feel scared that I might disappear. Don't get me wrong, I don't like it and he wakes me up when he crawls in with me BUT, I don't think it is so weird for him to do so.

    Answer by Gigi1969 at 2:34 AM on May. 9, 2009