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How would you feel about this?

If your husband, fiance, or SO told you that they were no longer attracted to you. But that if you lost some weight, you could be that person they fell in love with once. My husband decided to tell me that, but he said he understands I gained weight becasue of the pregnancy and I don't get them time to go to the gym...I just don't know how to feel. I mean, should I be mad that he told me he is not attracted to me anymore? Or should I be happy that he said he could be again...?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:31 AM on May. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • He is just being honest with you. We cannot help who we are attracted to. I am sure he still loves you very much but just is not as attracted to you as he was when he fell in love with you.
    Magpie75

    Answer by Magpie75 at 4:41 AM on May. 9, 2009

  • bahn him from the ? for 2 weeks until ...he admits it is not you je is a bored guy just make him real bored
    2mothershelpers

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 4:42 AM on May. 9, 2009

  • You should be happy. This is one of the main reasons men cheat. Because it's easier to cheat then to be honest about something so sensitive to a woman. Not being sexually attracted to you has nothing to do with if he loves you or not. Obviously he does love you and trusts that you love him enough that he can be this honest with you. Most men don't feel that way because most women.......... well just don't prove him wrong.


    So now you know. Do something about it. Buy a dvd and some weights. You don't need to go to the gym. Once you know a few good exercises you can do them while watching something else. Even standing at the sink washing dishes.

    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 7:17 AM on May. 9, 2009

  • I would definately be upset but I would be happy that he told me and didn't get go cheat. I would try to put a little more effort into losing the weight also.
    austinsmama1106

    Answer by austinsmama1106 at 7:37 AM on May. 9, 2009

  • Since he was honest with you, be honest with him; you need help to lose the weight in the fom of him giving you some time every day to work out.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 8:12 AM on May. 9, 2009

  • Wow that would knock me to the floor.
    I have gained almost 30 pounds since the day I met my fiance.
    I have been unhappy with my body and all he has said to me is that I am beautiful and he
    could care less that I have gained weight.
    I would not be mad if I was you, I would be very upset.
    To me when you love someone, stuff like that should not make the other love you less.
    Him telling you that he is no longer attracted to you is hurtful, but he is being honest.
    How do you feel about you, and if you feel that you can better yourself, you need to do it for
    yourself, noone else.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 8:12 AM on May. 9, 2009

  • then he's not in love with you as a person, he's in love with what you looked like. That's just shallow and cruel. If you can live with it then by all means lose the weight and be his body princess again but he'll find another excuse once the weight is off. I think he's trying to tell you more than it's just the weight. I think he's telling you he's not a nice man. You are you no matter how heavy or skinny you are. He's a sad man. He's not seeing you for the great person you are in general.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:20 AM on May. 9, 2009

  • You've got to give him kudo's for caring enough about you to hope to do something about it, and for telling you he understands how and why it happened and why you can't do anything about it right now.
    There's lots of exercises you can do right there at home tho. Sit ups and squats as well as firming up the boobs are easy to do and don't require much time and no money.
    After having 3 babies and getting my tubes tied, as well as hitting my early 30's I've come to terms with my body not being what it was but I should firm it up some. I am going to take my own advice and do that maybe.
    Good luck to you, you can do it! And give that man a big hug and kiss and thank him for being honest and comfortable enough to being man enough to tell you how he feels. Lots of men just go find a younger sexy woman so this man deserves a lot of kudos. :)
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:24 AM on May. 9, 2009

  • Most of us would be pissed off if we worked out, got in shape, and lost weight and our DH didn't find us MORE attractive, wouldn't we? Why would the reverse be any different?
    mancosmomma

    Answer by mancosmomma at 10:07 AM on May. 9, 2009

  • well, i see where some of u ladies are gettin at about being happy, but im sure thats not how ur feeling is it? i mean, mb he shouldnt have gotten u pregnant.. then he wouldnt have to "deal" with ur baby weight. my ex lovedddd me n my body the whole pregnancy and afterwards. he said im sexy either way. now THATS a man that truly loves u. he obviously doesnt love u enough for a strong relationship if hes not happy with ur body so hes all of a sudden not in love with u. that aint even right. mb theres something else behind it all?? like, mb hes juss using weight as an excuse for something else? id be effin pissedd. but i do understand where everyone's coming from when they say u should be happy hes tellin u ahead of time. but still, it aint a happy relationship for either of u if hes unhappy cuz u gained some weight. thats some bullshit if ive ever seen it right there.
    momma323

    Answer by momma323 at 11:28 AM on May. 9, 2009

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