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I have cutody of my nephew and know my sister is going to heve another baby!

My sister droped my nephew off Novmber 2007. Till she could get back on her feet. I now have legal custody of him and have taken him to counsiling because his mother only sees him MAYBE every 3-4 months. Now I find out today she is due with a new baby november 2009. She is making no effort to get her son. He is 7 years old and I have not told him about it but I know he will be heart broken!

How can I help him and this new baby on the way. (my sister does use drugs)

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Asked by gayle8501 at 8:17 PM on May. 9, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (9)
  • I would notify the CPS agency in your area that she is pregnant again and how you have her older child and that she is known for drug use. my state that's really all you can do about it.
    Keep taking that poor boy to therapy and if he wants a relationship with his younger sibling do whateve it takes witihin your power to make that happen. Good luck.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 8:23 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • I would contact whomever with Child Protective Services that helped you get your nephew. Advise them of what is going on and that your sister is still addicted to drugs, has abandoned her son and you have reason to believe and do believe based on your sister's personal preference and behaviors that you fear for the infant's life. They may intervene and assist you in taking custody of the infant as well. Good Luck

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 8:23 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • Well, I am very sorry to hear that and you are a nice sister and a great aunt for stepping up to the plate and being there for your nephew. Unfortunately your sister is not herself right now, so you really can't hold it against her. The baby most likelly will be born with some trouble due to her drug use so just keep in mind that CPS needs to be notified and hope for the best outcome for both, mom and child.

    Answer by bebita at 8:29 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • You need to get a hold of your sister and get her ass in rehab for this new childs well being. Listen im a recovered addict and i to gave my son to my sister he was almost 2 yrs old i know have a new child have been clean for three yrs and alot older too. My son has two older bothers and a younger sister. He knows that his mommy that he grow inside got sick and he had to come live with his auntie that is now his mommy, and im his auntie. At 7 yrs old you don't want to lie to him you just want to make it understandable for him. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • Good for you for taking your nephew. The above posters are right. The only thing you can really do for your nephew is just really try to love him. That's all a kid needs. You can explain that "mom" isn't well and you aren't sure when she'll get back on top of things but mostly, I think I'd try to make him feel secure and loved.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 4:15 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • I have a friend who's older child (12 now, 8mo at the time) was adopted by her parents due to her needing to "get on her feet". She tried to get him back at age 5 (they said no way, he was used to them now). So, she has open visitation and everything, but 2 years ago, she had another baby and you could tell it affected her older child. He asked her why she was willing to raise baby number two and not him. It was difficult to explain the circumstances were different. They are in counseling together now and it's helping. Maybe, hopefully, your sister can get to that point eventually.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 AM on May. 11, 2009

  • thats sad sorry but it is if she cant take care of one she should NOT have another

    Answer by lienna at 7:59 AM on May. 11, 2009

  • I recently adopted my sister's two daughters and will take custody of the twin boys when she gives birth next month. She is a drug addict and very self centered. Even when she is clean and sober she is a bad mom. Her oldest child was removed from her care and placed with its father after she burned him with cigarettes. She left my two girls (She gave up the right to be called mommy in my opinion) in diapers on my front porch two years ago in the middle of winter. They nearly froze to death. One of my girls was 18 months the other was 2 weeks old. She was arrested but got off on a technicality. When I found out she was pregnant again she was brought in by her parole officer. She had no prenatal care and now is being held since she failed her drug test she had alcohol in her system. The children will be given to me at birth and her rights will likely be severed the dad does not want them. Do what you have to.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 AM on May. 11, 2009

  • Cont.
    My girls know they are adopted but are still so very young. Her other 6 children all live with their various fathers and we get all the kids together from time to time. It is confusing for them but we are honest the kids know mom is selfish and is not capable of being a mom. I am paying for her to be steralized she finally agreed to it. She has given birth once a year for 9 years enough is enough. I would call your caseworker and let them know they will likely take the baby immediately so she does not have a chance to harm it. I wish you well. It is rough when a sibling is so self centered and such a low life. I am glad for my lovely daughters and my new sons who will be here soon. My sisters selfishness will not hurt these kids. They will have a great life in spite of her. That is all you can do for the kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 AM on May. 11, 2009

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