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How do I get my husband to stop putting himself before me?

My husband works. I understand that he is tired when he comes in. But I am at home with our two children all day. He comes in, plays with them for 10-15 minutes, then starts b!tching at me about how I need to clean the house, do the dishes, change our son's diaper, take our daughter to the potty, give the children baths... etc. Then he takes a shower, lays on the couch, and proceeds to sleep the day away. When our daughter tries to play, he growls at her, then tells her to "go find mommy." How do I get him to take more responsibility instead of putting it all on me when he gets home, and how do I make him understand that he isn't the only one who may or may not have had a hard day???

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Asked by Luvs_Her_Kidz at 8:50 PM on May. 9, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • Tell him to step up to the plant he helped make both of them children and you need help with them and if he wants to bitch about what the house looks like then leave him with the kids for a whole day and he can be you for that day see how he likes that if that does'nt work pack his shit tell him when he wants to put hes family first then he can come back until then he needs to leave. It would'nt make a diffrerence if he left anyways cause you do it all anyways. He needs to step up or get out. To many women let men get away with this shit and bitch to much about there man not doing anything. Stand up for yourselves they helped you make the kids, they can help you raise them to not just finacally either. Play with them, cook for them change diapers ect....GL Im sorry if im came off bitchy. Men are'nt lazy when they want sex, are they?????

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:09 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • i don't know but when you figure it out let me know!


    Answer by gabenmikeysmom at 9:13 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • LOL gabenmideysmom! Yep, they just don't get it. We're having company tomorrow (all his family who invited themselves over) and I've been slaving around all day trying to get the house clean, food ready, etc. What's he been doing? Playing with his motorcycle. Clueless.

    Answer by goldenfox at 9:21 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • put yourself before him. he wants somethign he can get it his own self, you're busy.

    Answer by LilChynaDollie at 9:35 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • Look up the word Narcissist and see if his picture is there. Some men just think they are king of their castle and not going to be a part of the home stuff after they spent the day slaying dragons

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:35 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • stop doing his laundry, wash only the dishes you and your LO's use if he asks you for something ignore it or say ok and go sit on the couch. I swear all men are wired the same! i did what i told you to do for a whole week and after that, on DFs day off i woke up took a shower and left the house for the majority of the day so he could get a feel for what i do each day and things turned right around, he doesnt help as much as i had hoped but its getting better.

    Answer by Kennadismom at 9:47 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • Point blank, you can't make him do anything, he has to want to do it. Do what I've done, get up early and haul ass for a day and remember to turn off your cell phone !

    Answer by Angie32Red at 10:25 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • I would sure like to know the answer I just busted my ass cleaning the entire house and taking care of three kids who were determined not to listen today while he laid on the couch because he was tired. And I'm not!

    Answer by Katie911 at 10:50 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • I was in the exact same situation and I left took the baby (he also has another daughter who i take care of) and went and stayed with my grandmother for almost a month i duno if it was that he didnt have 1 peice of clean laundry left , he was burnt out on pizza and double cheeseburgers or that i finally convinced him he would be paying childsupport through his teeth for 18 years but he really got the point and things are a whole lot better now!

    Answer by nursinghannah at 12:37 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • lol

    Answer by nursinghannah at 12:38 AM on May. 10, 2009

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