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My 18yr old unmarried daughter wants to live with her boyfriend?

My 18yr old daughter wants to live with her boyfriend and his family when school is out this summer. I am against this. Many people tell me she is 18 and grown so I should let her live her life. Yes, she is 18, but I foot the bill for her college expenses, cell phone bill, health insurance etc... I spoke to her boyfriend's family and told them how I feel about the living situation and they have totally disregarded my feelings as a mother. What do you think?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:46 PM on May. 9, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (16)
  • If she is 18 and wants to do this, cut her off. She has to understand, those are your rules, if she disobeys, you are not responsible for paying of her bills. BE TOUGH mom. You have got to be.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • Forbidding her to live with her boyfriend will only make your daughter resentful toward you, trust me. If you are against that particular living arrangement I would suggest letting your daughter know that if she wants to move in with her boyfriend you will withdraw all financial support. If she's an adult she should be able to make her own way, right? That's what I would do anyway.
    dedicatedrider

    Answer by dedicatedrider at 10:52 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • Dedicatedrider,

    That is excactly what I told her. I said if you want to be grown and live your life like a grown up, then you can pay for your education, cell phone etc... (I will still keep her on my health benefits). I paid for her to live in an apartment while she attended school. I did not check up on her or forbid her to see her boyfriend.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • If she wants to play house, let her have the full experience. If she wants your financial support she should be willing to do it with your regulations. If she wants to live with the BF, she can foot the bill.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • Sorry, I didn't mean to suggest that you WERE forbidding her, just commenting that that in itself would be a bad idea =)
    dedicatedrider

    Answer by dedicatedrider at 11:45 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • My 18 ds moved out, with a buddy, got his hours cut to 3 hours a week, lost 25 lbs. from being hungry all the time, He lasted 6 months, he said it was a mistake but not really cuz he learned a lot from it. It truly broke my heart, I went into a depression, but he says not to take it personal its not us. I would be very upset with the boyfriends parents for not doing their job, but let her go and let her learn, just keep yourself busy and don't get in a depression like I did. I feel for you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • well, she is an adult and if she is going to be living with his parents as well, it might not be as fun as she would think. i myself never lived with a boyfriend until my SO now and I definately never lived with another persons parents. I would think that would be wierd. Either way, I would explain to her that you understand she is an adult, but that you are still her mother and care a great deal about her well being. Tell her that because of this you have been paying for her college, cell phone, insurance, etc, without any requests in the pasts other than to do well in school (I assume), but that you cannot in good mind support her move in with her boyfriend. That if she chooses to do this that you will be forced to take your financial support away. Explain that if she is adult enough to make this decision to live somewhere you do not approve of that she is adult enough to support herself.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 11:28 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • Im sure the bf's parents feel like they're in the middle on this one. If she wants to live with them,then she has to be responsible for her own bills and expenses. Thats part of moving out and growing up. Why should you continue to pay for everything if she isnt living there? we all need parents like that,wow.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • i would stop paying for everything for her if she thinks shes so grown up and wants to live with her bf. it might make her think twice if shes smart
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • idk all i know is when i was 18 i still had a curfew and did what my parents told me to i felt grateful that they took care of me and my lil boy i was 19 when i got married and did not live with my hubby until after the wedding you should definatley cut her off girls at that age don't really care about what you say ...good luck tho
    ilovemyboys21

    Answer by ilovemyboys21 at 1:48 AM on May. 11, 2009

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