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My daughter is 16 years old now, and has been dating this good hearted guy for about 2 years now. He recently dropped out of school and started smoking a few cigs a day.
I'm a young parent as it is, and I don't know what I should tell her..
She's literally in love with a loser!..
(he has no ambition whatsoever)

Any ideas what I should tell her? Or should I let them be? HELP !

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:06 PM on May. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • My dd has lived with her loser bf for over ten years now and he's never beat her and never cheated on her, keeps them in a decent house, doesn't drink or do drugs and they have three kids. Life isn't always bad with a loser (by a mom's standards). Sometimes happiness is simple for some folks.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:09 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • The worst thing to do is to forbid her to see him. Because the more you try to take her away from him the closer she will try to get to him. Be there for her--through the good and the bad---without judgement! With you there she will see the kind of person he is----it might take awhile---but she will see it!
    I think this is one of those times when a parent also needs to be a friend.

    Answer by kgck_momma at 11:14 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • I would say try to keep communication open with her, don't be negative about the BF, and let this run its course. If your DD is anything like I was at that age, telling her she shouldn't be with him will have the opposite effect.

    Answer by grahamom at 11:16 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • But they do everything together and he just doesn't have ambition to go anywhere in life. Like she sincerely likes him and he sincerely likes her.. but he doesn't want to make anything of himself !

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • Dropping out of school and smoking doesn't make you a loser, just a person who has made unwise choices in life. He is 16 however, maybe you could become a mentor in his life and talk to him about the decisions he has made and try to change is mind. Let them be and soon enough your daughter will come to her own conclusions without your help.

    Answer by Angie32Red at 11:19 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • He's not 16, he's 18....

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • My cousin dated a guy like that in high school. He's still a loser. She's still in love with him. She's 32 and he's 35. For whatever reason, she thinks he's the greatest, and has dumped some really nice guys who were madly in love with her. She hasn't married him because the reality of actually marrying him has sunk in-- he still lives with his mother-- and she wants more out of life. She knows that she would never have the life she wants if she married him, and she would end up supporting him on her social worker's salary, and they would never be able to buy a home or afford have children. Crud-- she'd have a 40 year old kid living at home!

    Answer by Busimommi at 11:57 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • 18 is still so young... things happen that change life at the flip of a dime... so hold out some hope. Maybe he'll wake up and realize life isn't all sunshine and roses and he'll grow up and want to do something with his life. Be happy that they get along, it could be much much worse. Lots of teens are being secretly abused by their boyfriends.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:24 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • play a game w/ a couple of chics...some young, some experienced, make a list of the 10 most important qualities u would want in a hubby then read out loud and talk about it. it's an eye opener for all !!! it's great that he's good-hearted though, that's alot more than I can say about a lot of people

    Answer by mamawilson112 at 12:51 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • thank you all so much for all your imput...
    especially .. Busimommi

    :) ill try my hardest to give them time but still lookout !

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on May. 10, 2009

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