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Is it normal to be unhappy when you first find out you are pregnant?

I am 20 yrs old and very scared about this whole process. When I first found out I was, I wanted to cry but definitely not tears of happiness. I went to the doctor and they confirmed my fears. I know having a baby is not such a bad thing. (So I started setting more money aside) Yet I feel bc i havent graduated college and balancing work and the fact that I am so young. I am married but I feeled that isnt enough and I am terrified to tell my family because I can already see and feel the disappointment. I dont know what to do and how to feel. Please please someone advice me or something.

Thank You

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Asked by moe042789 at 11:34 PM on May. 9, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (9)
  • You're just worried. That's normal when you weren't planning to have a baby. I got pregnant with my daughter when I was 18. I thought my life was over. I was single, but I got through college a year early! You can do it. Just take it one day at a time.

    Answer by toriandgrace at 11:37 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • It's scary to have a baby. I had my first when I was 19 and unmarried. I was worried about what every else thought, too. But you can't worry about what everyone else thinks. Some people you can never please. It's not easy balancing everything but you can do it. Once the baby comes, everyone ends up focused on the baby, anyways.

    Answer by cleo1969 at 11:38 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • its normal for anyone planned or not to have fears. life does get harder and it does change, however you are married and are in school so you already have an advantage over some women in that you are in a stable relationship and working to make sure you have a better income and steady career later in life. as far as your family is concerned they may not be happy in the begining but that is b/c they want what they think is best for you, but they will come around, how can they not when there is a new baby to love? just wait til you get past the first trimester before you tell them. and there is the option of adoption if that is something you and your husband feel would be best for your family and for the baby.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 11:43 PM on May. 9, 2009

  • You're fine hon. I was totally scared and I had my first kid at 32. I used to sit on my couch w/ cat on my lap and cry. It's normal to be panicked about everything w/ pregnancy but I sense your worry is more about being younger than you thought. I say, prove everyone wrong, finish your education while raising this kid and find a job. You can do it, women do it often. When you tell the disappointed family, share with them that although this is a surprise and not what you invisioned, that you have a plan in place to make this as smooth a transition as possible. Look into online classes, maternity leave, google daycares or whatever, and arm yourself with info so you really are more prepared than terrified. You'll be great!

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 12:13 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • I'm 20 and 19 weeks pregnant. When I found out, I felt the same way. I always wanted to be married and financially stable when I had kids but It happened when I had just quit my job over being mistreated and just had to move back in with my mom because of quitting my job and I'm not married but I have a GREAT man. Then I found out I was pregnant and I was like OMG..Honestly, after hearing my daughters heartbeat, feeling her move and kick me and seeing her and finding out that she IS a she, I wouldn't change it for the world. You can still get your life in order the way you want it to be and have your child. My baby only motivates me more to do the things I want to do, like go back and finish college.
    I don't know your family or how they react to certain situations, but my family has been one of my biggest support systems. You should definately tell them, even if they are upset at first, they will come around and help you.

    Answer by Marix3 at 12:25 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • If the pregnancy is unplanned, it's totally normal to be upset. I was a little upset about getting pregnant with this one, even though I'm 27, married, and this will be my third. We really can't afford another. But it happened, so we deal. And now I'm 28 weeks, and actually excited, though still a little worried. You'll manage, just like we will.

    Answer by tyrelsmom at 12:37 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • Thank you so much everyone. I thought someone would really write something harsh (as they have to other post). I feel a little better but yes I will definitely strive harder and do what I have to do. Now I just want to meet other mommies, I think it will be great exposure and just fun to have either mommies or mommies to be around me. Once again thank you all.

    Answer by moe042789 at 1:00 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • I'm so glad you asked this question. I'm 20 years old and 28 weeks pregnant. I've been looking into prenatal depression but haven't had much luck. I'm not sad all the time, but I don't feel like I'm as excited about my new baby boy as most women who are as far along as me. I guess I'm just scared about the future. Even though I have the best soon to be husband in the world and a great supporting family I'm still so worried and scared about the future. I have no idea what it takes to be a good mother.... and from what I hear it's the hardest job in the world.

    Answer by jachelle at 1:47 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • Good luck and congrats mama!=]
    It's worth it in the end

    Answer by Marix3 at 1:48 AM on May. 10, 2009

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