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What is going on?!! I'm 26 weeks pregnant and my dh hasn't and will not feel the baby kick?!!

I have a great marriage. My husband is a wonderful father of one and this was a planned pregnancy. I thought it was weird that he hasn't asked yet if he could feel the baby kick and since I'm already 26 weeks I asked him last night if he wanted to feel the baby kick and he said no and quickly removed his hand from around my waist before we went to bed. (His hand very rarely grazes my belly) I cried and through a fit and couldn't get a straight answer out of him why he doesn't care. He says he's just not that into pregnancy. This he reluctantly offered after claiming that I was psycho. We very rarely fight. We made up but he never did touch my stomach. Tonight I asked him as a Mother's Day present if he would humor me and touch my stomach since he knows how much it means to me and he refused. After that I couldn't just lie in bed with him. I can't understand what is going on!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:31 AM on May. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • my dh would touch mine but the second the baby moved he would pull his hand away real quick, and if were sleeping on our sides and my stomach was touching his back and he was being kicked it freaked him out. hes a great dad and loves our daughter very much but i think the whole seeing me being taken over and feeling it too just may have creeped him out a bit. some people just get creeped out by feeling the baby move through moms belly, women included. it sucks and i'm sure he doesn't realize how much it hurts you but just pushing it more and more is going to cause even more fights. and make you feel even worse, just know its not you its him and some weird thing in his head.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 1:36 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • I'm so happy that there is someone out there with the same problem. I hear about all these doting fathers to be and all I want is for him to touch my belly! I thought this was really unheard of. It's like a phobia he has. He reluctantly used to touch my stomach when I was pregnant with my first. With that pregnancy it was planned but I had to twist his arm so I thought it was about resentment. But this one was unanimously planned. He is great in every other way. I stay home and he supports our family and we have a comfortable life. We get along great which is why this has just floored me. His sister asked me if she could touch my stomach and I asked him if he would mind me telling her that she was the first? Yeah, I'm playing games but I feel like he could just humor me for Mother's day, right? I know I need to step off but I came on here for answers.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • oh i know, i was just letting you know that you aren't the only one. like i said mine would sit there for an hour with his hand on my belly but the second she kicked (or he for this pregnancy i'm 37 weeks now) he would freak and be like omg what was that!!! and i would just kind of be like you're kidding right what do you think it is!? and then he wouldn't touch my belly again.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 1:55 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • Wow! A hole hour! He touched mine for about a total of 20 seconds this entire pregnancy. I know I should let this go but I can't believe he is doing this to me on Mother's Day! He knows how important it is and he's still refusing and mad that I brought it up tonight. He's extremely head strong by the way. I think what makes it the worst for me is I know how into pregnancy other fathers get and all I want is a damn hand on my stomach! I should be grateful that he is a great father and a great provider.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • Some men are honestly a little freaked out pregnancy. He's probably one. Dont go off on him over something like this. In the grand scheme of things it really isn't a big deal. You said he's a wonderful father, well thats all that matters in the long run. give the guy a break.
    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 3:27 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • Well, my husband would touch and feel the kicking and all UNTIL one day when we were sitting in bed together watching a movie and my belly was unclothed and all of a sudden this FOOT came poking, you could see that it was an actual foot there, pushing out right above my navel and moving around. He was all "WHOA! How can you handle that? That would weird me out!" I don't think he did a lot of touching after that.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 9:42 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • My dh was freaked out at first too. but he came around when my stomach was so huge it looked like a wtermelon. Don't worry about it. I know it means alot to you, but it may make him feel that the baby is taking you from him. He needs time. God bless you and take care of that little one.
    Ibelongtojesus

    Answer by Ibelongtojesus at 9:51 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • I'm wondering if it's because as long as they don't feel or see the baby move, it's not as real, and it's harder for them to be intimate with you when the baby is definetely real to them.
    If he doesn't want to, don't force him, he's the one missing out.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:06 PM on May. 10, 2009

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