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How do I get hubby to lose weight??

I have been married for 2 years. When I first meet my husband he was in good physical shape and sexually appealing. He is 6'1. After we married, he started to gain weight... He went from 160-something to 230. He is 29 and I am 31.
He's in the Navy Reserves, so this kind of weight isn't good for his career...It could cause him to get kicked out.

I have been blessed with a great metabolism, so working out has not been a priority; I am 5'5 and 115 lbs. I have tried to encourage my husband to exercise, eat well, like I do, but he shows no desire to do this and our sex life has suffered for the past year because of my lack of desire for his body. His gut is like a 50 year old's beer belly. I have been 'gently' honest with him but I've come to the end of my rope... I am starting to get very angry at the situation because I don't think that a man still in his 20's should look like that. What ELSE CAN I DO FOR HIM??


Asked by Anonymous at 1:54 AM on May. 10, 2009 in Diet & Fitness

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I vote for stealth. Make him tasty meals loaded with whole grains and vegetables and low in fat. I have many great recipes I would be happy to share with you. You can send me a message with meals your husband loves, and I can see if I have healthy versions. You can also get free meal plans and recipes from Dr. McDougalls website, or look for his books at your local library:

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:00 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • He can only do it for himself. You can certainly make sure nothing but healthy foods and diet drinks are in the house. But it's on him.

    My husband is much like our 20 years together, his weight balooned from 185 to 312 pounds.

    Nothing *I* could say would do a thing. NOTHING. Nor was his doctor all that effective. DH would complain from time to time and then try to crash the weight off, but it always came back.

    He had to finally come to the realization that his weight was going to kill him. A minor stroke helped with that somewhat.

    He became a contestant in a weight loss contest this spring. He's gotten heavily into working out and has completely changed his eating habits. He's dropped from his high of 312 pounds to 250 pounds today.

    But he came to the decision to do this HIMSELF. I just do the shopping. It's all on HIM. Because you can lead a horse to a treadmill, but you can't make him walk on it.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:23 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • You can't make a man do anything. Accept that now. He has to be the one who wants to lose weight, and it won't work if he only wants to do it for you. He has to want it for himself. There are things you can do to support him. If it's true, tell him you love him no matter what he looks like. Tell him you are concerned for his health. And then, most importantly, BACK OFF! He's heard everything you've already said and filed it away in his "nagging wife" file. He's tuning you out. When you get groceries, get only healthy food, for yourself included. Yeah, you have a great metabolism, but he doesn't. Stop eating and suggesting fast food. Go to the gym, exercise, do what you do. Ask him if he wants to come with you every time, even if he always refuses. You are already fit, so you have to set the example with love and grace.

    Answer by DrJChappell at 8:07 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • No matter how out of shape he is, that shouldnt be a factor in how much you love him or desire him. If it were, then that means his body was what you were attracted to to being with. I understand that its awesome when your partner looks good, but we take them because of who they are not because of what they look like. When they shape up, then it just makes a good thing better. Hes got to want to do it for himself. You cant make him. When he feels like you love him and appreciate him and desire him, no matter what, then that might be when the motivation kicks in. He probably feels pushed by you so hes resisting.

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:17 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • bumpin

    Answer by mamajody0507 at 3:41 PM on May. 10, 2009