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Dealing with teen girl - bad boy relationships

Looking back at the teen years (for you parents of adults now), can I ask if anyone has had a postive/successful outcome after refusing to allow their teen date someone (for example, lockdown for months so they can't go out with a bad boy)?

I have had a problem with a young teen dating a bad boy and most times people advise NOT to forbid such relationships except in extreme circumstances. Even in extreme circumstances, parents who do this seem to be in a never ending spiral of keeping their kids under control while the attaction to the bad boy just goes on and on.

On the other hand, does anyone have experience in accepting their teens wild choices of people to date and did the attraction really fizzle out perhaps due to the fact that you didn't make the bad boy "forbiden fruit"?

 
PhillyinFrance

Asked by PhillyinFrance at 10:25 AM on May. 10, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 3 (13 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • All I know is that as a teenager, whatever my parents said I could not do, of course, I would do. Many girls are attracted to the "bad boys". I was for most of my life. I don't really have an answer, but maybe try to get to know him. If you forbid her to see him, she will sneak out and do so.
    susiefromthe80s

    Answer by susiefromthe80s at 7:34 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I would never allow my child to be around someone that is in trouble and disrespecting people. My first boyfriend was the(BAD BOY) and my parents hated him and everything they told me that would happen happened. Parents do know best...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on May. 10, 2009

  • All I can say is it is hard dealing with teenage girls my daughter has a baby boy by a 20yr old man. Need I say more.
    mrspeace

    Answer by mrspeace at 5:06 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • My parents tried to forbid me from seeingmy first bf. He was older, I was 16 and he ws 19. He drank and used and sold drugs. The more my parents told me to stay away and prevented me from seeing him the more I wanted to be with him. I moved in with him a few days before I turned 18, though I'd stay with him quite a bit even at 16 and 17. He ended up beating me for the nearly 3 yrs I was with him. At 18 my parents no longer wanted to see me b/c they were scared he was going to kill me. It still took me close to a year to leave him. 2 months after I left him I meet my husband and everythings is a lot better with my parents and me and they really like DH.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • I was the teen who dated the bad boys and no matter how hard my mom tried to keep me away from them it only drove me closer. Im not saying to just let your daughter do what ever she wants but trust her unless she proves you wrong. Its crazy cause when I met my now husband when I was 17 I was introduced to an entirely new world (drugs). I was always then one that had the drug addict boy friends and was trying to help them but not in this case. I have never fallen for someone as hard as I did my husband and I think that had allot to do with why I made the horrible decision to take the drugs. My mom didnt find out untill about 3 months after when a friend of mine told her. I finally grew up a little and told my husband that I was leaving him cause I didnt like what I was turning into, this had nothing to do with my mom it was totally my decision. So we split up for a week when ever I looked out the window one day and he was there
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • continued.... and actually we didnt split up we broke up and I really didnt think I would ever see him again. But he showed up at my moms house and told me he made a huge mistake and that he wants to be with me. Ever since then we have left all that bull crap behind us and ended up getting married two yrs later. Then two years after that we gave birth to our now 2 yr old son. We just had our 4 yr anni. this month and we our extremely happy. So the point of my story is that you just have to let your daughter learn from her mistakes but make sure that your there to help her right back up. You cant shelter a child but only let them make mistakes to were they can learn from them. She will be fine but I would still keep my eye on her and make sure your having those mother daughter talks. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 PM on May. 13, 2009