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How should playdates be arranged for kids?

For the last couple years since my son has been in school he has had friends come over many times to play, but I realized something recently which is that he hardly ever gets invited by any of his friends. I am very laid back, we have tons of stuff for kids to do in hour house, snacks, dinners, drinks, treats etc. basically it is fun to come to our home and play.
But they never invite Andrew over.
I have not allowed anybody come here for over a week now since one of his friends that was here wanted to make herself a bag of popcorn and almost started a fire in the microwave, I caught it in time though.
Anyway, why don't other parents see that they should maybe reciprocate? I just don't get it.

Answer Question

Asked by BeaMoore at 1:18 PM on May. 10, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 17 (3,412 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • There are lots of reasons why parents don't reciprocate; they may be embarrassed about something in their house, or they may see you as a free babysitter. Some moms are just "kool aid" moms. I know that sometimes in the summer it seems like I am feeding a dozen kids on our block, and only one is mine.
    Anyway, you can call up a mom and say: Johnny has been at our house a few times, I was wondering if Andrew can go to your house after school next Thursday, I will pick him up at 4:30.

    Answer by rkoloms at 1:23 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • I'd let it go, just enjoy him and his friends. Your place may be the cool place to go, so don't ruin that by dragging your feet. My boys had friends over all the time. I didn't mind giving them snacks or keeping an eye on them.

    Answer by Bmat at 1:34 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • I do like them a lot, but I am having some health issues, namely bipolar and get very exhausted physically and mentally by whatever is going on in the house. Right now I pretty much dont let them come over more than once a week, so that I can handle it.

    Answer by BeaMoore at 1:39 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • How long do the kids stay? My limit is about 2 hours. I give a specific pick up time, and that helps to know that the playdate will end. I'd ask a mom you are somewhat comfortable with if your son could play at their house. No reason not to. I'd say something like this: "John really loves when Jack comes over. He's now asking to play at your house. I think the change would be fun for the boys. What do you think if we tried switching off homes for the next couple weeks?"


    Answer by Teachermom01 at 1:54 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • i would much rather my daughter and her friends be playing here, so i wouldnt be complaining if my house was the only house the kids came to

    Answer by alexis_06 at 2:24 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • My son has a few close friends over periodically through out the week depending on when I work or when he has an activity going on. Sometimes kids are invited to community events together for instance I took my son and his long term friend to a church fun event and my son whent out with his friend and papa golphing.

    Sleep overs can be great too as long as you now the other parent really well and the kids are ok with it. Last year the boys where out in the tent (of course I did not get any sleep as I was always checking on them.) Or we would sometimes put up a make shift tent in the living room.

    Ya sometimes other kids want to come over but I find it better to limit other wise it gets to be to much and ya some parents will take advantage so I find it best just to stick with the kids and parents that I know but thats me.


    Answer by Daisysun at 7:05 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • I kinda feel like I am in th esame position as you, and while some days I would love a change, I know at the same time, I like it because I know that my kids are safe. I suppose I am one of those parinoid moms, but my kids (one age 8, one 7) have been over to very few of their friends houses without me. I think my DD has only spent the night with 2 of her friends and my son has only slept over at 1. These tend to be the same ones that we do play dates with, but every onw and again they will reciprocate and invite my kids over. I guess I have just gotten used to it. But I do agree with the other moms about asking whether or not your son can come over and play at their house :-)

    Answer by momofmn at 12:29 AM on May. 11, 2009

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