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How should I feel?

DH prefers his EX wifes parenting style to mine! We have no kids together but 3 between us. Not feeling good about this one because I have a degree in Child Development and have been working in that field for 7 years.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:24 PM on May. 10, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • He shouldn't compare parenting styles between you and his ex. Everyone is going to parent different. There's nothing you can do about that. Don't let it get to you. Just let him know that it bothers you that he says that.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 7:28 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • well, no offense, but having a degree in child development doesn't make you a perfect parent. Yes, I can see being offended by his feeling that way, but I also think you need to find out why he feels that way. Sometimes, and I don't know that this is the case with you, but some people get a degree in something and then tend to go over the top with the idea that they know everything there is to know in that field/matter and no one can tell them they're wrong. Perhaps he feels you do this sometimes. Or maybe there's something about her that maybe you don't do b/c you have so much training. I'm not sure I'm explaining this the way I intend it to sound. Basically, I'm trying to say that maybe your training isn't helpful to you in being a parent, you can't go completely by the book when parenting. Sit down and talk to him, find out why he feels this way.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:33 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • You dont have to feel any certain way. Feel how you feel and let him know about it.
    I personally would feel offended and like I wasnt given the credit I should be. You have a degree!! You know what is right, healthy, and practical. She could be doing things strangely and it was just convenient for him, it doesnt matter if he likes it. You are parenting your children for their good and happiness, no one else.
    amber710

    Answer by amber710 at 7:35 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • Should I try to parent a bit more like her to make my SS feel more comfortable and my DH too?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:44 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • Is it possible for the 3 of you or at least you and DH's ex to have a talk about it? Trying to keep consistency between the 2 houses and amongst all 3 children is the most important thing. If you knew what exactly it is he prefers about her parenting style and tell her your point of view and why maybe the 3 of you can come to a middle ground.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 8:00 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • Compromise! You and DH sit down together and set up some rules and consequences. Also go over some scenarios. Once you have settled on something sit the kids down and go over it with them. Chances are both you and DH have good ideas on how the kids should be raised. the fact that the kids are step kids doesn't make things much different that any other set of parents. My husband and I have 2 kids together and we constantly have to go over things and meet in the middle about how we want to handle things. If either of you face a situation with any of the kids that you are not sure how the other would handle you tell the culprit that they are under surveillance until you have discussed it with each other and agreed upon a consequence.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:22 PM on May. 10, 2009

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