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I am pregnant and my husband has been gone for 6months in Afganistan

With all the stress of doing everything by myself and my husband deciding to go into the Army when I was opossed to it, I put myself in a bad situation and cheated and now I am pregnant!! I just found out 2 days ago and havent gone to a doctor but what do you ladies think...should I abort and never tell my husband (which is sounding real good to me right now) or tell him the truth? Maybe I could tell him he must have gotten me preg before he left and that I had a premie? He will be gone for 6 more months and I dont think the last will work out well. Please dont be mean...I am a wreck right now. I feel aweful as hell!!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:24 PM on May. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • oh s*it girlfriend. You've gotten yourself into a real pickle. Let me think about this. We'll figure something out. Go to the doctor and confirm then we'll go from there.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:27 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • honestly i think you should think really hard about everything before you decide. you don't want to tell him w/o notifying someone else first that way he has a support system in place if/when you do tell him. as for telling him its his and the baby is a premie umm hes been gone 6 months hun i think he'd figure that part out. and you also need to think about your marriage, if you cheated and want to blame it on stress than do you really love your husband? i mean my dh is navy, we are on deployment number 6, each is 6 months, i have moved alone 4 times, done a surgery w/my daughter alone, lost a pet, lost a car, got into a major wreck and am about to have our second child alone. and i've never once cheated and thats just some of the big stressers not the little ones.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 8:30 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • Sometimes, as women, we make bad decisions. This can be fixed. If you want to stay married to your husband, confirm you are pregnant then terminate and never say anything about it to anyone, ever again.
    MomShawn70

    Answer by MomShawn70 at 8:31 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • Ok trying really hard to be understanding, but all that comes to mind right now. Is that you give military wives a bad name! I mean how stupid do you think your husband is, trying to pawn this off as his baby
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:31 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • Ok honest opinion here. I am totally completely 100% against abortion. I dont buy into the whole 'my body, my choice' excuse, as this is a baby we are talking about, not a mole on your skin. Can you honestly live with yourself if you were to end your own childs life? I mean, really think about it. This is a baby in you and you would be the reason the baby dies. I dont say this to be mean but you have to know the truth about whats going to happen. Research abortion and see what really happens in an abortion.

    Now can you say you honestly love your husband hte way he deserves if you cheated while hes at war? My dh is deployed so really there is no excuse. You need to tell him the truth, even if you werent pregnant he deserves to know the truth, hes not out in Afghanistan living it up, he deserves to know and not to be lied to. If it ends your marriage, honestly, you brought it on yourself.
    Mom2SKMB

    Answer by Mom2SKMB at 8:33 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • abort and tell NO ONE!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:37 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • oh boy this is a bad situation. no matter what you decide i wouldnt recommend telling hubby its his baby! thats not fair towards him or the baby for that matter! im not for abortions unless its a medical thing but clear your mind on what you really want to do whether you want to keep the baby and risk a divorce or live with an abortion.
    maybe should just go to the doctor and confirm first then he can advise you to a social worker that can help you deal with this!
    just remember if you do keep this baby you will love him or her soo much!! dont forget it is YOUR baby
    glossyblack

    Answer by glossyblack at 8:39 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • one more thing.. none of us should bash you for cheating or even judge! you didnt make a commitment to any of us and you already are in enough trouble as it is.
    now to that military wife thing.. please ladies lets not act like all of the soldiers going down there are faithful!!! my sister is a military wife, many of my friends are and my husband got out of the army not too long ago and he was deployed as well so i have a good clue of all the cheating that goes on in iraq and so on
    as a matter of fact i dont understand why people cheat but who are we to judge and why does it make a difference if her hubby is deployed or not?
    glossyblack

    Answer by glossyblack at 8:44 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • My husband is also in the army. And it is hard when they are away. Im sorry to hear about the situation but if it were me i would tell him. It would haunt you if you dont. Its not hard for a guy to do the math and find out that the kid isnt his. This is something that your going to have to decide on your own. I dont belive in abortions .only under certian cercomstances and thats why im not going to say one way or the other. But as far as telling him about cheeting on him I would tell him. Good luck and i hope everything works out for the best.
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 8:48 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • I agree with Shelii. You are going to have to tell him sooner or later, if not, it really will eat you up inside. I cheated and tried not to tell, and ended up pregnant, but I didn't know who the dad was. Well, my husband was mad and we aeperated for a while, but in the end, he believed my remorse, and we have been happily, faithfully married with our beautiful daughter for almost 8 years now, so really, this is a risk that you have to take, now or in the future.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:22 PM on May. 10, 2009

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