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spoiled or what

ok 4 kids and my oldest one is almost 16 and has all kinds of nice clothes and i have been spending a lot of money trying to get her a nice sweet 16 party shes having an leiu themed swimming party with hawaiian food and decorations. We go shopping yesterday because I desperatly need more clothes and every store she went in she thought she had to have something. It was hard but I told her no several times. It was hard because Im so used to putting them before me. I feel guilty but dont know why. I always make sure they have everything they need, but she just keeps on wanting more and more and no she does not respect me half the time. How in the world do I keep from feeling bad for buying me something and not her. She even gave me hell because I bought me a months worth of tanning and not her. what is it with these teens, or is it just mine?

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heavenlypeace

Asked by heavenlypeace at 9:02 PM on May. 10, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 4 (37 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • Don't worry, its not you. It's all of them.
    dragonfly7271

    Answer by dragonfly7271 at 9:07 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • Stop giving into your kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • She's 16, the damage has already been done, now you must lay in the bed that YOU made!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:13 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • It's not just your DD, my DS is the same way. Putting your needs ahead of your childrens wants is not a reason to feel guilty, they need to hear "no" sometimes.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 9:15 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • im offended by the all teens are like this remark..im 17 and im not a brat like that and I neevr was i dont expect to get everything i want. its to late to do anything about her at 16 shes not gonna change shes spoiled. period.
    hug4akiss

    Answer by hug4akiss at 9:21 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • My teen girl is the same way. You tell her no, and thats the end of it. They can get as pissed off as they want, but there not winning. You work hard for your money, you shouldnt feel guility spending money on yourself that you work for. Do more for yourself!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:22 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • but you can say NO tell her shes old enough to get a job now...so if she wants that crap get it herself
    hug4akiss

    Answer by hug4akiss at 9:22 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • Saying "no" teaches them coping skills for life so never feel guilty for teaching her how to survive in the real world. She'll get over it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:09 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • There's no blanket statement like "she's a brat", or "they are all like that" which covers for this girl or any of us. I have a kid who drives me nuts shopping. She wants something in every store & pouts when she goes home empty handed. I can't say how many times I've said, "We went shopping for (item) for your (sibling)! What makes you think it's all about you?" The pattern repeats because she's not mature enough yet to think of others first.
    DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. DO NOT THINK YOU OWE HER ANYTHING. She will prioritize herself until she matures enough to realize she's doing it. If anything tell her, "I was planning to take you out to a nice lunch after we bought a few things I need, but you've been so selfish I just don't feel like spending time and money on a selfish person right now. Hopefully next time we go out we'll have a nicer day."
    cutiemoose

    Answer by cutiemoose at 9:26 AM on May. 11, 2009

  • yes wow. im 19 and at that age i wasnt a Selfish Brat... ii didnt get hardly anythign and i still dont. but my kids do, anyway its Probably Way to late to teach her now .. maybe you should tell her to get a JOB
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 AM on May. 11, 2009

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