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So upset..

I'm 23 weeks pregnant with my first child. A girl, Juliana. My ex and I do NOT get along, at all. For all he has done I don't even want him around my daughter when she arrives. He sent me a text saying "ok asshole, see you in court". Does anyone have any advice?? (No, try to make things work advice, because that's been tried and all I've gotten was failure and a broken heart.)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:47 PM on May. 10, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (16)
  • Get informed about custudy laws in your state, if he was abusive, make sure you have evidence/witnesses. If he would be a bad father, get evidence of that. If he is just an asshole, but would be a fit father, just hope that he and you don't actually have to see each other for very long during switch offs. Honestly, even if he is an ass, if he wasn't abusive, alcoholic or anything like that, it's his daughter too.
    smzuzu

    Answer by smzuzu at 9:51 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • unfortunately the only thing i can say is unless he has been abusive or you have proof that he would be an unfit dad then there really is nothing you can do...sorry if that is not what you want to hear. I would not say try to work things out but i would try to put the past in the past and move on..you two are about to be parents to a beautiful little girl who should not be split from any parent unless harm would come her way. you guys are going to have to agree to disagree. become friends somehow.

    if he is abusive you need proof to get his rights taken away.

    good luck and HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!
    2wndrfl_btrflys

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 9:51 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • Just try to ignore that situation and focus on a healthy pregnancy for you and your baby. Stress isn't good for either of you. It is hard, but try to forget him and enjoy this time with your baby.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • Keep all texts that you receive from him!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • First start saving the texts those are usually admissible in court. Document, Document, Document! Only keep in contact by email or text if possible. Do not put him on the birth certificate make him file himself and request a DNA test. Now if your on public assistance you have to name him but if your making it with out PA he will have to file for everything. If he is such a dirt bag you don't want him near the child he probably doesn't want to pay child support and won't make an effort. In the eyes of the law if he isn't on the bc he is not the father and has no rights.

    babyfat5

    Answer by babyfat5 at 9:55 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • Voicemails, too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • Go ahead and get the paper work to file for child support and custody and turn it in as soon as she is born and see his ass in court
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 9:56 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • This is all good advice. Definitely don't use the phone, email or texts for proof.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:00 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • If he is being mean/abusive tape all voicemails and save all texts so that if he tries to get custody or end up in court you have proof of what he has said and done. Keep dates and times of phone calls as well.
    tjandjenna

    Answer by tjandjenna at 10:02 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • He was never phsyical w/ me, just mental. He has already denied my baby twice (it's definitely his) but it was verbal when no one was around.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 PM on May. 10, 2009

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