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I really could use help. Feeling Frustrated. How do you get a child to be greatful for what they have ?

I have 3 children and they are never satisfied. We give them surprises and no thank yous, take them out and no thank yous, jump everytime they say jump and still they want more. Don't get me wrong. I love doing things for them. Never had much growing up and love to give everything they want. I love to see their faces light up. They truely have more than most but, not as much as some. They are great kids no major trouble from them. But, every now and then I would LOVE a Thank you or a "Can I help?". Any ideas to get their attention and show appreciation or even just an unasked for thank you. OR even to get them to do what I ask when I ask the first time I ask.


Asked by mommarykaje at 11:06 PM on May. 10, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (6)
  • Honestly.i never aprecieated what i had until i moved out of the hosue. I joined the army and then all of the sudden it was a total shock because i had to pay for everything that i wanted myself.I used to get my nails done every 2 wks with my grandmother and my hair dont every 6 wks without fail. and it never matterd what i wanted to get done.fake nails crazy hair color. None of it matterd. And when i moved out and relized that i had to pay to get my own hair colored and it was costing me $120 to get my hair done thats when i relized what my mother and my grandmother were doing for me. I would have to say stop giving them everything.Give them an allowance and if they want something make them buy it so they know how hard it is to get the things that they want. If my family would have done that for me it would have been much easer when i moved out of the hosue. I never relized the value of a doller and didnt respect what i had.

    Answer by Shelii at 11:18 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • Quit with the treats and all the giving. Make them earn these things and when you do give them something, ask them like little children, "What do you say?" till they spit out thank you. It's important to remind them and helpful in life to put this into practice for everything.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:09 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • We struggle with that here as well. My husband is really the one who tends to perpetuate it though. He grew up with NOTHING and he spoils our son a bit too much and then wonders why our son acts ungrateful at times. In general my son is a very sweet and grateful child, but there are times when we do things or go places and he does not say thanks or acknowledge things the way we would hope. The best we can do is teach our kids responsibility and not hand everything to them on a silver platter. Make them work for some of the things they want and also expose them to those less fortunate by volunteering and donating, so they can know how good they really have it.

    Answer by KTMOM at 11:10 PM on May. 10, 2009


    Answer by TAMMSTWINS at 11:55 PM on May. 10, 2009

  • One thing that helped with my kids, is taking a day and go through there toys and there clothes and then take them with you and go to the local domestic violence shelter and donate the things there. I had to go to them when I left my first husband and when I got there I had nothing for my kids or for myself. So they got me what I needed to get by. That was seven years ago. I sat my kids down and explained how lucky they are for what they got, because there are kids and families out there that have nothing. Then I took them to the shelter with me and made them give them the items they didn't use anymore. Now they look forward to helping out. When they ask for things I also tell them please and thank you.....

    Answer by dolphinkisses at 12:22 AM on May. 11, 2009

  • I think it is time for you and your husband to hold back on buying things and treating your children to things unless they earn it.
    Call a family meeting and be open and honest with them. Explain to them about manners and how it hurts your feelings when you aren't appreciated for all you do for them and it hurts your feelings when they won't help you.
    Start a chore list and rotate chores so everyone gets a chance to do them all. Make them EARN their treats and surprises. Only give them what is basic and necessary. If they have bad attitudes and are disrepectful, but still need something, then buy the store brand or of lesser quality.
    They MUST learn to appreciate what they have and not to expect it all the time. As a parent, you need to teach them these basic concepts because the real world will chew them up and spit them out if you don't prepare them now.

    Answer by PrydferthMenyw at 12:08 PM on May. 11, 2009