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did you ever feel like you became his doormat?

when we first met, i was a strong minded army girl..very independent, very secure and confident. years later im married to an army man i met while in, i am no longer military but a sahm. and i find that ive become submissive . now i do not mind taking care of my family.but i think its gone toh is head. i got him some chips cause he wanted a snack, instead of asking me nicely for the dip he says "where is the dip" and i got it instantly.just small thingsl ike this happen constantly. if he wants something..i hop to it..if i want something, i better not hold my breath. im not saying he doesnt do anything for me...he does...but only if its within his range of wanting to do it, in other words he wont go the extra mile while i feel like i go the extra miles for him constantly. one small dumb thing..i LOVE massages, but he will not give me one even today on mothers day because he doesnt enjoy giving them, he wont do it just for me

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moki1984

Asked by moki1984 at 12:01 AM on May. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Level 11 (573 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • You can only be a doormat if you allow it. Let him get his own damn chips and dip.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:28 AM on May. 11, 2009

  • then let him pay for you to get a massage. You can wean yourself off the of submissive thing. It happened slowly (doormat status) and you can slowly regain a more assertive status and stop enabling him. Being more assertive may get his attention as well and he might be willing to give those massages when he sees you getting back to being the woman you were when he met you.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:34 AM on May. 11, 2009

  • many times i feel like i cook, clean, cater and work my a** off all the time without a thank you or anything in return. But there are those nice days where he does that one sweet little thing that makes you forget about that.
    dej11262008

    Answer by dej11262008 at 1:12 AM on May. 11, 2009

  • u did become a doormat slowly and u can get yourself together a lot faster. have him pay for the massage and stop doing everything he asks and start developing some interests of your own, if he doesnt like it im afraid he is just hanging around because u wait on him hand and foot. its unfortunate but its true that u teach someone else how to treat u. u taught him itssok to use u in this way. u have a choice to undo it and have him come along or undo it and have him stay behind. sorry. but eventually he wll get trired of your behavior . he just not that in to u im afraid, at least not now. try to get it together. and good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 AM on May. 11, 2009

  • your he's not that into you statement is not true.
    the way he is is how he always was...just taken toa new level. its not like its something new for him. and he always says he loves the fact that im so dominant minded with everyone else but not with him. and i do have hobbies and my own interests...it just seems like i spen dmost of my days taking care of him and the baby.
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 9:27 AM on May. 11, 2009

  • i was a doormat for a long time, took a lot of effort but now he's the one rubbing my feet and cooking my meals.
    LilChynaDollie

    Answer by LilChynaDollie at 10:56 AM on May. 11, 2009

  • im not saying he doesnt do anything for me....
    "if he doesnt like it im afraid he is just hanging around because u wait on him hand and foot. its unfortunate but its true that u teach someone else how to treat u. u taught him itssok to use u in this way. u have a choice to undo it and have him come along or undo it and have him stay behind. sorry. but eventually he wll get trired of your behavior . he just not that in to u im afraid, at least not now."

    honestyl thats a bitch comment. not that into me? my husband doesnt give a shit if im a career whore or a sahm...he always says whatever makes you happy and he loves me profusely, he shows how much he loves me....

    but he has never been the type of man that massages or goes out of his way for anyone. his mom is lucky if she gets a phone call once a month. he's a very "manly man" do not assume my husband is not into me..you dont know him. that is not at all wht i asked..
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 2:43 PM on May. 11, 2009

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