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Why do..

people wait till after they are married to try and solve the big issues in their relationship? if he was an a-hole/user/abuser/cheater/lazy person before hand that doesn't change over night.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:48 AM on May. 11, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I think that people get into too much of a hurry to take the time to look at the real character of an individual. The signs are always there, but women are blinded to them. I also think that they believe that they possess some kind of magical powers to change the man into what they want him to be, but it is not going to happen. There is an overall lack of guidance in mate selection by parents, and too much is left up to gals who don't have the resources to make wise choices.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:35 AM on May. 11, 2009

  • Sometimes an abuser won't start being abusive until after the marriage.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 8:00 AM on May. 11, 2009

  • Regardless of what you discuss before getting married you are going to come across issues that weren't discused. You need to be able to communicate and compromise. Everyone is so selfish they forget to notice their own flaws & issues. If marriage were easy divorce rates wouldn't be what they are today. Sometimes it isn't all that obvious-people lie-sad but true. I knew my husband for 4 years before we married and still find things out about him that I didn't know after 2 years of marriage. My husband and myself have both changed alot-some for the better-some not. I try my best to remember the qualities that I saw in him the day we married-even if he does not still posses all of them I love him for what he was and try to understand who he is now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:08 AM on May. 11, 2009

  • IDK, you would think that if the people knew these things they would accept them or move on, people do not chang such large things, they hide them.
    Wildkitten82

    Answer by Wildkitten82 at 8:16 AM on May. 11, 2009

  • bc they are blinded by "love". Sad bc they don't see what he's really like and they should pay attention. Too bad the reality stuff doesn't show through better and the love come after the marriage!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:37 AM on May. 11, 2009

  • Sometimes an abuser won't start being abusive until after the marriage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:08 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • Sometimes an abuser won't start being abusive until after the marriage.

    Whatever! There are ( warning) signs if people take the time to look for them. They should also have a long enough "court" period to really start to know someone before marrying. Usually the abuse WILL start before the marriage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:09 PM on May. 11, 2009

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