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How do I explain to my MIL appropriate things to buy my DS? She doesnt get the hint!

DS is 10 months old. I have NEVER brought him to their house or out without packing everything he could possibly need. (I even bring an extra bag full of toys)
I am very strict about what he eats and read nutrition labels on anything packaged. Lately, every time we go over there she pulls some crap snack out of the cupboard (and thinks because it is made my gerber he can have it whenever) and tries to feed him.
The day before Yesterday, I told her that he was on a very strict feeding schedule because he is not good with solids yet and he can only eat what I bring him. Then yesterday she pulls them out again and asks me if he is done with his schedule yet.
She also bought him sippy cups and a stupid feeding spoon. Is it me or are those innapropiate things to pick out unless you are a parent? I always pack a sippy cup and put alot of thought into picking them out.

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Asked by jenellemarie at 11:50 AM on May. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,583 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • i think you need to relax, she's just trying to be a grandparent & it's like you're not letting her do anything with him, chill out

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on May. 11, 2009

  • I would just say to your son "I guess you'll have to stop visiting grandma until she can feed you the things you are allowed to have" she'll get the hint! If not just tell her she will not be watching the baby unless she can abide by your rules.

    Answer by finallyamom40 at 11:52 AM on May. 11, 2009

  • I totally understand where you are coming from!! I was the same way with my DD. The first time she had ANYTHING sweet was at her first b-day...cake. Unfortunately, I had to go into the hospital with my second for over a month and my parents were her main caregivers. They got her hooked on candy and sweets and McDonalds. Needless to say, I was pissed. Your MIL has to respect your wishes as his mother. She can buy all the crap she wants...doesn't mean you have to use it. Take it all in stride mommy. Be firm about his diet and let her know you are not going to bend. She raised her children the way she wanted to & you are going to raise yours the way you want to. End of story! Good Luck!!!

    Answer by JessieK79 at 11:57 AM on May. 11, 2009

  • Your are fighting a losing battle.
    Believe me, I understand what you are trying to do.
    But Grandparents just do not listen.
    I finally gave up with my mother...don't get me wrong I will not let her feed her all junk..
    but she sneaks it to my dd anyway.
    I would tell my mother that the dentist said this or the doctor said that..
    My mothers reasoning is that she is the grandmother and she is allowed to spoil her..
    I want my dd to be apart of her for me I just gave up.
    Good Luck

    Answer by Dannee at 11:58 AM on May. 11, 2009

  • Yes I agree with anon. I think you just need to relax and breathe. :) Yesterday we went to my parents and as soon as we got there my dad got out shortbread cookies that HE BOUGHT for my son. He was sooooooo excited to give them to him. My mom said that he spent forever picking out what "treat" to buy him. And those weren't gerber. Its not going to kill your son.. and your MIL is more then likely anticipating the next time her grandbaby comes over so she can spoil your son :) AND THAT IS GREAT. Be grateful you have someone like that in your/his life :)

    Answer by amy31308 at 12:00 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • um I think gerber is good enough for me but since you are a over anxious mom wait is your baby have celiac disease or something??? gluten probs? ...I think this is a way over-rated prob if we could all be so lucky i thought they were buying your baby guns ir something,lol!

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 12:02 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • Lol...ok, this is not funny, but you have no idea how totally I understand where you're coming from. My ex- MIL was exactly the same way...When my daughter was 6 months old I left my husband because of abuse. Well, she of course was forced to go back and forth for weekend visits every 2 weeks. I'd pack absolutely everything she could possibly need for those weekends. Even down to church clothes, extra outfits, food, formula, etc.. I'd even send notes along to let them know what she was eating at that particular stage, etc. Not once did they ever listen to me. I think they PURPOSELY went out and got her what THEY wanted her to have and completely did the opposite of everything I asked. She'd come home sick every time, she'd be angry to the point of violence--this is a one year old baby by the way. It was horrible. I stayed sick to my stomach from the moment she left on Saturday morning until she got home on Sunday evening.

    Answer by lighthousemom3 at 12:03 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • I always went above and beyond to try to be nice to them and include them in her life. They never would attend a birthday party for her. If she was sick, they'd say "she has to learn to be sick with us too." She'd come home with cuts and scrapes all over the bottoms of her feet, etc. I even got a call from Defacs that my ex had been accused of molesting my daughter. Do you know that I still legally had to let her go down to their home even while the investigation into his abuse was ongoing...As she got older she started telling me horrible stories and crying and begging not to have to go see them. I had no choice "legally" or I'd be held in contempt of court. At five, her father decided to remarry and told me he didn't want to visit with her for awhile. Two years of him having nothing to do with her and he sends me a letter saying he wants to sign over his rights to her, and let my new husband adopt her.

    Answer by lighthousemom3 at 12:10 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • Now she is 15 years old, and hasn't seen him since she was 5. He lives less than 10 miles from us, and she has tried to contact him and see if the relationship could be mended. Being the jerk he is, he only sends her letters when he doesn't have a girlfriend and then goes months and years without any contact again. Needless to say, my daughter is very angry and bitter toward him. She has flashbacks of what his family did to her when she was younger, she's even admitted to hearing voices sometimes when it's really quiet. She's a beautiful, brilliant girl. Honor roll student, in the Who's Who of Highschool students, National Honor Society, etc. Yet, because of the damage her father and his mother caused her at such a young age, emotionally, she's damaged. It affects her relationship with ALL men. She trusts noone, and her memories are getting mingled together and mixed up.

    Answer by lighthousemom3 at 12:15 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • She has very low self esteem even though she was a cheerleader for 2 years in Middle school.She runs track in highschool and even earned her letter man jacket this, her freshman year, which is usually unheard of. She pushes herself to be the best at everything, and if she's not perfect, it shatters her....She is a good kid that stays out of trouble, goes to church and on mission trips, and doesn't even have a boyfriend yet because of trust issues. But because of the man who once called himself her father, and his controlling mother, she'll never "feel" fully Whole.
    Sorry this message is so long, but I just wanted to warn you and all moms out there who may have ex-inlaws or ex husbands to watch for the warning signs. A controlling mother in law especially seems to pull all the strings of her son. Something as simple as not feeding a baby as you ask, can behind closed doors lead to much worse. Just everyone out there, be careful

    Answer by lighthousemom3 at 12:21 PM on May. 11, 2009

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