Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

worried about a 3 year old boy I feel might be falling behind.

I watch a 3 yr old little boy that I am worried about. He has a few problems that he is stuggling with like he can not take off his shoe, has a hard time holding a spoon and can not drink from a cup. I have 2 boys of my own and have run a daycare for almost 15 years. What I am really worried about is him not being able to use a cup. He tries to put his tongue in the cup and does not understand how to use it. Has anyone else ever seen something like this? I have tried to talk to the mom about other worries I have, but she is not receptive.

Answer Question
 
cchawk440

Asked by cchawk440 at 12:30 PM on May. 11, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • maybe he only uses sippys at home?
    gabenmikeysmom

    Answer by gabenmikeysmom at 12:32 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • That's a sticky situation to be in. If you have watched the boy for some time, the mom should be receptive to your suggestions. If he is new, you may have to gently ease into this... maybe get a few articles about child development to share with her or talk casually about it. "I've notice Johnny doesn't ______. Would it be ok if we work on this with you?"
    If he has just turned 3, he still has time to learn these things with a little help. (although the fork should be mastered by now) the cup and the clothes take more practice. If he is closer to 4, he should definitely be able to handle some of these tasks even if not perfectly.

    Can you work on these things with him? If you are with him more hours of the day, you have more opportunities than that busy - hard working mom. Maybe she is so busy getting dinner and baths that she feels it's easier to just do these things herself. Good luck and keep communication open.
    Annette4

    Answer by Annette4 at 2:01 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • It sounds to me like he is not given the opportunity to learn these things at home. I would just work with him on those skills. If he does not start catching on then it is time to take action.
    JasonsMom2007

    Answer by JasonsMom2007 at 6:02 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • I would simply state that all daycare centers require children to be "potty trained, able to put shoes on or off, hold and eat with utensils, and drink and hold a cup". Maybe this might help the mom step up if its a training issue at home, otherwise Im wondering if the kid maybe has a disability.
    TheFriskyKitty

    Answer by TheFriskyKitty at 10:42 AM on May. 12, 2009

  • My guess would be that he is being treated like a baby at home with sippy cups, being allowed to just eat with his fingers or they might be spoon feeding him themselves etc. I've seen this happen a few times in nanny jobs I've had. Try taking away all of the props and having him only use spoons and cups. You might have to show him yourself. Take him in the backyard during playtime and give him a cup on water and have him practice, so if he makes a mess its no big deal. He'll probably get a hang on it. You'll know after a few weeks if its that or if its a delay in learning. Good for you for noticing and being concerned.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:51 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • Thank you everyone. I have talked with the Mom. I approached the subject very gently. She was more receptive that I thought she would be. I advised that we both should take away the sippy cups and that if we work together, we can help him to make progress. Yesterday was the first day with no sippy's while he was with me. Let's just say that it started off rough, but by the end of the day at least I got him to begin to close his lips on the cup and sometimes not to put his tongue in the cup. He still want hold the cup, but we will take baby steps. I just pray that she will not give in at home. This child needs help and what worries me is that he has a little sister that will be 1 this month. The mother is a very active mother and always there for everyone else but it is like she does not have or give enough time to her own children.
    cchawk440

    Answer by cchawk440 at 6:55 AM on May. 13, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.