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For those who tried to breastfeed and couldn't...this question is for you!!!

This is an answer from a question asked a couple of days ago regarding breastfeeding:

"I absolutely feel that it's selfish not to try. And the HUGE majority of women who claim they tried and "couldn't" are either lazy, selfish, or poorly informed. Sorry if you think that's harsh, but for crying out loud, ladies, that's what the things were MADE for! "

So if you are a mom who tried to breastfeed and couldn't, how do you feel about this rude comment? Especially those of us who have medical reasons why we couldn't breastfeed?

I was just talking to my SO last night about feeling terrible that I couldn't breastfeed. He knows the struggles I had, and he also went with me to see lactation consultants. He told me at least you tried. Then I run across the above comment, and got pissed off.

I swear I wish I could reach thru the computer screen and kick some @ss.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on May. 11, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • For three months I tried to get my milk to come in and it never did. I never once experienced my breasts filling with milk. I never experienced "let down" or any of the things I was dreaming of experiencing with my baby.

    And every time these stupid little self-centered, holier-than-thou bitches start in with there "Everyone can do it!" bullshit I want to smack 'em upside the head with a crowbar. They have no idea. They're so convinced of their own superiority because, after all, they read it on a website!!!

    But you know what finally helped? A girlfriend of mine who's a preschool teacher said, "You know what? I don't know which of my kids was breastfed and which were formula fed."

    As for the stupid people, just ignore them and love your baby. Of course, if you want to mentally imagine smacking 'em upside the head with a crowbar, I won't tell anyone.


    Answer by Avarah at 1:11 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • ADD: I had a couple of medical problems that prevented breastfeeding.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • I think the person who wrote that is simply incapable of seeing the world through any view but the narrow one she has created for herself.

    Answer by mandaday at 12:40 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • Try to ignore those people. I had no medical reason not to breastfeed. I was in agony! My dd wasn't growing, but with supplimental formula caught up fast. So I don't know if she just wasn't latching right or what. But the pain was unbearable and I was honestly scared to death to hold my child! I don't care what I was "made for". I would rather hold my daughter than torture myself and be afraid of her just to get a few added benefits that breastfeeding provided. I lasted a month and a half. She's thriving on fomula and I love that I got to bond with her on the bottle rather than who knows what if I'd keep her on the breast.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • i dont dissagree i could hae tried harder i did it for 2 weeks and then i rested for a week like i was told so my nipples would get better but when i started again i didnt seem to have enough milk so i could have tried harder.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • I think that the person who made that comment is desperatly misinformed.

    The fact is, if you were unable to breastfeed and you continued to try but to no avail. You are uncomfortable, the baby is uncomfortable. And, it isn't good for anyone.

    Answer by mum-to-be-at-18 at 12:42 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • besides breast feeding isnt always the best i know people whos breast fed there baby for over ayear and they still always got sick and people say that breast milk prevents colds.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • People make judgments like this all the time. Ignore them or you just end up wasting your valuable energy on people who don't know and don't care. Don't let it get you upset - you don't know them, they don't know you. Walk away and keep your focus on what's important in life, not what other people think. I tried but was not producing enough milk to sustain him and my son gave up nursing altogether at 6 months.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 12:42 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • yeah sometimes people need to really relax with the whole breastfeeding issue. I myself BF and I thought it was the best thing ever and tried to, of course, get anyone I knew to do it. But I understand how hard it can be. It took me 2 weeks and bloody nipples to get my daughter to nurse. I also had to put some kind of plastic nipple on my one breast to get my daughter to feed of just the one. So my right breast would always be used more because it was easier and then my left would always be more full and sometimes get plugged and it hurt like hell for a few months, but after that it worked like clockwork and the pain I went through paid off and it was great.
    But for the first few months I wanted to give up and almost did, but my need and want to BF was higher than the pain of trying to do it. So I know what it's like to feel the pain of it, but its also a beautiful thing, and wish you were able, but its rude to judge. : )

    Answer by Savymom25 at 12:44 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • OP:

    Like I said, I was already feeling bad about not being able to nurse my daughter, and that comment was like pouring salt into a wound.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on May. 11, 2009