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My sister in laws stepparent plan backfired

When I married DH 3 years ago, we decided to join forces as a unit for my kids and his. It's tough because my kids always remind me he's not their dad and his kid says same about me not being his mom. We stand strong regardless. But, recently I found out that after 5 years of marriage and being a stepmom to his 3 kids(all now adults), my sister in law and her husband did this exact parenting style to them, and it backfired! All 3 of her husbands kids ages: 18, 20, 23 could not wait to move out of their home and talk crap about both her and their own dad to anyone who will listen. I'm now wondering if what me and my DH are doing will backfire on us too? Any advice?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:09 PM on May. 11, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (3)
  • The only advice is to do what you think is right for your family, You can't control how your children turn out, just guide them the best you can.
    MoMmY2APrince85

    Answer by MoMmY2APrince85 at 4:13 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • if they do they do , you are doing the right thing and that is all that counts IMO
    CSRodriguez

    Answer by CSRodriguez at 4:48 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • That'll depend on how you and your husband raise your "joint kids". Give them a sense of self worth, a sense of self confidence, and a sense of responsibility. Let them know that their "real mom/dad" are good folks, and don't bash those people in front of the kids. Let them know they are loved.... And remember one other thing -- teens, even "late teens" often rebel, verbally, as they discover themselves -- and they are GOOD at knowing what buttons to push in order to hurt you.

    Hang in there, and do your stuff. You'll be fine and so will all the kids.
    Morniel

    Answer by Morniel at 5:41 PM on May. 11, 2009

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