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Im So Confused....

me and my boyfriend have been together almost 4 years and we have a and a half year old together...but the problem is i love my boyfriend but i dont know if im in love with him...i dont have that sexual attraction to him anymore. i dont want to have sex with him or makeout or those kinds of things first i thought it was just me but the last little while and me being sexually attracted to other guys has me thinking. but i dont want to lose him..i cant see us apart if that makes any sense?? i dont know how to sort out my feelings and im very sonfused has someone been through this?? does anyone have something that can help me??

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mommieofone06

Asked by mommieofone06 at 6:48 PM on May. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I think you're just going through the normal phases of love.

    I've been with the same guy for about 27 years. Sometimes I'm tired of him and think other guys are better looking, smarter, richer, whatever. But I love him and can't imagine my life without him.

    Love fluctuates. Waxes and Wanes as the saying goes. The fire-hot sexual attraction all the time isn't real life. Real love is deeper friendship.

    timelessglass

    Answer by timelessglass at 6:55 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • Love isn't about wanting to pounce on each other every chance we get. Like PP stated. This is normal phases of love and I've been my with my husband about that same amount of time and we are too going through this. We're still attracted to each other but its not like it was when we first started dating and we had to do it every night, or be risky ya know?
    amy31308

    Answer by amy31308 at 6:58 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • I think What u are feeling is normal... Love has many phases. I have been with my bf for 5 years. We have a 3 year old together. We just recently got over a month break. ... Some couples have problems like that. I think its just part of love. The reason u may be attracted to other guys is because you have lost attraction lately in your man, therefor are finding that somewhere else... and You probably initially lost the attraction and feeling of being "in love" because of whatever issues you two have. You both probably just have work work through your current problems. Like most of us do.. and then once they are resolved... there will be more lol. that is how it goes. it is non stop work
    OneLoveForMe

    Answer by OneLoveForMe at 7:06 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • Are you afraid tobe alone? Is that the real question. You been with him for awhile I see. I know what the other girls say about a faze of love. Who goes throw a faze of not wanting to sleep with their partner. I know you love him. I love all my ex. I was in relationship for a long time eight years and never had the problem of not wanting my ex in bed unless I was mad. I would take a little break. Its not fair to him and its not fair to you. Maybe you will realize that you want to be together. Or realize you are done. Sometimes love just ain't enough

    akmami0f4

    Answer by akmami0f4 at 8:48 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • I go through it also. I love to cuttle with my partner but sometimes making out or having sex isn't what i want. It makes me feel bad because I don't like NOT doing this with him...I just don't WANT it. I love him so much and at times I sleep with him just because he is so good to me and I know he needs to be with me. Sometimes I feel that it's just all the pressures of life that makes me feel this way. The worrying about things I need to do or want to do but can't. Also 2 boys and a girl that his ex never lets him see probably plays a big part in it..but I did realize that when I feel sexy i want to have sex with him..maybe you need to sexy yourself up. Working out also makes you feel better about your body..to the point where you may want to flaunt it to your partner..try that..it works for me sometimes.

    mother.of2

    Answer by mother.of2 at 12:31 AM on May. 12, 2009

  • I have the same problem as you do except we have 2 children and we have been together for 5 years and I dont love him anymore. I reciently cheated on him and told him we split. But he said he wanted to kill himself because he missed me soo much. I felt awful for what I did to our family and hurting him. I moved back even tho I knew that I didnt love him or want to be with him. Its a awful feeling to not love someone but have to summon up enought guts to "pretend" that you do love them. It hurts me too. I want to see other people and I think that I had my children way to early in life and settled down way to early. I want to work things out for my family but my feelings arnt there anymore.... Sad!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:53 AM on May. 12, 2009

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