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Feeling Obligated? I'm so lost now....

My husband has recently told me that I make him feel obligated to show me affection. Such as kissing, saying "I Love You", and even having sex, because he says I always want or do those he simply now feels obligated to do them, and is more or less pulling away from me. I'm just not sure how to approach the situation now. I love him with all my heart, and being as how I'm a woman, and a very hopeless romantic one at that I just always feel the need to hug, kiss, and well love to show it in the bedroom too. So do I just T-totally pull back from everything I'm doing, and let him come to me when he feels like it? I mean I have emotional needs as well.... I just don't know how to go about it all now....I want to reach some sort of unspoken agreement, without compromising my own needs of our relationship.


Asked by Anonymous at 7:36 PM on May. 11, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • its sounds like you a bit to needy and he is feeling the pressure of that. Back off a bit. How about a kiss in the morning and a kiss at night. But when it comes to telling him you love him, Don't ever stop doing that and if he says something about it again. just tell him that this is how you feel and your not going to stop loving him or telling him that you do. letting him come to you for sex is a good thing to. If you feel you need that pleasure then just please yourself.

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 7:42 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • my dh dosen't want to be all "lovey" until he wants sex, i jsut ignore him when he gets all over me & deny him LOL sorry it's bothering you though

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 7:43 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • Is this a new thing hes saying or has it just developed? That could be a determining factor on what you should do...

    If you were always that way, then why is he just now bringing it up? And regardless, IMO if one person in the relationship feels like showing love and affection is "too much" or "feels obligated" to return that affection, then something is wrong. That sounds like an excuse to me.

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 8:03 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • he feels obligated to say he loves you? what kind of BS is that?

    he sounds like he's being selfish with his affection.

    Answer by LilChynaDollie at 8:03 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • umm i had this problem with an ex and i know EXACTLY how you feel. its very hurtful. there is a reason behind it....find it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • i think you should let him come to you i mean dont like forget your needs but let him come to you i went through the same thing with my husband expect it was him

    Answer by 1stmomma at 9:40 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • Im going through the same thing... i feel like I have to beg my bf for affection let alone sex! I finally gave up trying to touch him and now he is just starting to complain about it... to be continued

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • IDK what change between you 2 that it would lead him to push you away but when that happened to me it was because there was someone else in the picture. When I met my current SO he was in a relationship of 5yrs. He told me that the problem between them was she always wanted to hold him and kiss him and be around him..he called it needy. He said it just wasn't the way he was...after they separated and we started dating I found out that he is more "needy" than I am. It was just the fact that he didn't love her anymore that made him think that way. You should try to give him space maybe he's going trough crap at work or emotionally and he doesn't know how to tell you.


    Answer by mother.of2 at 12:06 AM on May. 12, 2009