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Why do I feel like this.

Ok I just finished reading another question on here in the relationship section titled "Advice for a Friend" . I swear whoever posted that was describing my ex. I just recently found out that he has a girlfriend we have the same set of friends. We have been broken up for about 9 1/2 months(basically my whole pregnancy). We have two older children together and he has another child from a previous relationship. I broke things off with him because our issues started to over shadow our relationship plus I was just not happy. He hid the fact that he is in a relationship with someone. But the weird thing about it is I feel betrayed by him. Why and I feeling this way?? I broke things off with him because I was and am still not inlove with him. We were together for 5 years and 3 of those 5 years we were engaged. How do I get past this. I think the reason why I am so upset is because we just had a baby and how fast he has moved on.

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Princessstar024

Asked by Princessstar024 at 9:47 PM on May. 11, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • cont...
    it just makes me think that he didn't care at all about me when we were together. How do I get past this?? Please help. Any advice is appreciated. Please no bashing.
    Princessstar024

    Answer by Princessstar024 at 9:48 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • You answered your own question as to why you feel this way. It's natural to feel betrayed or replaced, but the important thing is that you're not in love with him and the relationship was not a good one and that's why you left. Keep remembering that you made that decision and it was a smart one. Let him go and don't worry about what he's doing - because if he hasn't learned from your relationship, he'll mess that one up, too.

    Best wishes.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 9:49 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • I'm sorry that is rough. I think you are right, you're upset he's moved on. At least you've heard he's moved on, it doesn't mean he doesn't think about you, he's just putting one foot in front of the other. You should do the same, especially if you broke it off before for not being in love. This is the slight burn of someone moving on but you'll move on too and when you do, it'll hurt him a bit as well. Always does, doesn't matter who goes first.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:53 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • Baby or not it takes time to get over a person you were in a long relationship with and committed yourself to, add a baby into the mix and you get a whole new set of obstacles. Of course you're still going to be hurt by the thought of him with someone else, you would feel like that no matter what. Him hiding it from you just makes you feel mad on top of being hurt. Just think of him hiding it from you as a reminder of him being deceitful and the reasons the relationship didn't work out in the first place. and remember there's a reason that cliches become sayings, because they are true: Time heals all wounds.
    MamaMaggie3

    Answer by MamaMaggie3 at 9:53 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • It's sometimes hard to accept the fact that someone who you used to love, but don't anymore, has moved on, and more quickly than you expected. Many many years ago, someone I used to care about moved on, and very quickly. We were together for years and engaged and broke up. I didnt love him anymore, but then again, I was upset that he could "forget" me so quickly. It hurt.
    It's hard to let go, even tho you know the feeling is gone. Try not to take it personally hon (I know, easier said than done), but you are not together now for a reason. Keep than in mind!
    dragonfly7271

    Answer by dragonfly7271 at 10:19 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • You made a good decision in breaking it off, because later on you would have fallen in love then things would have gotten worse. Hopefully you'll get over it & move on to bigger & better things. Good Luck ! Time does heal all wounds.
    RaggedyAnne

    Answer by RaggedyAnne at 10:25 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • Thank you ladies. Yeah it stings that he just moved on so soon. I know I made the right decision when I broke things off with him and I have to keep reminding myself that he's someone elses problem now lol. When we broke up he treated me like shit(sorry for the potty words lol). Alway's short with me, telling our friends that he didn't care if my bills didn't get paid that if I was ever going to get put out that he was going to come by and get the kids and let me stay out in the street. Just mean things like that. Then now today he asked me could we be friends again. I told him that I gave him that chance when we broke up. He then proceeded to tell me that his girlfriend didn't like the way he was talking to me or how he was treating me and for him to change his act. But our friends have been telling him that for months. I don't need for him to act all nice towards me. I guess that's another thing that is bothering me too.
    Princessstar024

    Answer by Princessstar024 at 10:34 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • Good thing the baby isn't old enough to know what's going on, this would have made the situation worse. The misery he gives you, your kids will take away.
    RaggedyAnne

    Answer by RaggedyAnne at 10:41 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • Honestly I believe that he truly didn't care for you. He had his own plan of action and unfortuanately you were not apart of his equation. But don't be down, I know it hurts, but at least you are not blocking the blessing that is in store for you. Keep your heart pure and not burdened. Don't let it hardened and become cold. Your baby will feel it and it will be hard for you to move on. You need to move on and love yourself, your children, and everything else will fall into place. Rely on God and he will take care of you...put your burdens on him.....and mean it!
    pebbleschild

    Answer by pebbleschild at 8:56 PM on May. 12, 2009

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