Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My 2 yr old is a mean lil' fart!

HELP!!! My son in his terrible twos, but he takes it to a whole new level and i'm at my wits end! He is physically abusive to his older sister(not his oldest, the one right before him, who happens to be disabled). I was mopping the floor and he was scratched and pinching her FACE! She was trying to put on her PJs and couldn't get away. I had her and my oldest go to OUR room, lock the door and put on her PJs. This is the worst so far, but he's been on a reign of terror for a while now and its only geting worse and worse and I'm all out of techniques. Spanking doesnt' work(and sends the wrong message in this case), redirecting doesn't work, distraction doesn't work. I need help! His sisters were NEVER this bad. He tackles his sister, pulls her hair, slaps her, scratches her, pinches her. He can be mean to his oldest sister too, but its the worse with his sister Victoria. HELP!!!

Answer Question

Asked by rosesNclovers at 10:04 PM on May. 11, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 8 (264 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • i think that if i were in that situation, he would be in his own room by himself with no attention from anyone when he does stuff like that. especially since you're right spanking just sends the message that its ok to hit when you are trying to get him to stop hitting ( i spank so i don't have a prob with that but i get what you mean when you say its not an option for certain problems) if you put him in his room and he no longer gets the attention from you or anyone else, maybe that will get through to him that the behavior is not acceptable. then when he calms down, sit him down and explain why its wrong

    Answer by vabchmommy at 10:09 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • But how do I keep him in his room(and they all share a bedroom btw)? And he's nonverbal, and while I know he understands basic requests(come here, get your shoes, throw this away etc), I think things like this go over his head. I didn't go thru this with his sisters so I don't even know how I could explain it thats on his level.

    Answer by rosesNclovers at 10:13 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • I agree, be really consistent and stick him in his room over and over and over again every time it happens to send the message you're done tolerating it. Or put him in the naughty spot. He needs to know w/ absolute clarity that this is unacceptable behavior and maybe when you raise your tone and drag him to this room/naughty spot, he'll get the message over time. Could take several weeks of getting to his level, looking him in the eye and explaining. BTW, could he be jealous and feeling insecure? Is this being done for attention? Either way, two's are tough. My first son was SO AWFUL I started watching Super Nanny for tips, read The Happiest Toddler on the Block, and spent of lot of time yelling. He outgrew it and yours will too. Hang in there.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:18 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • Seriously, The Happiest Toddler on the Block, especially if he's nonverbal. Worked for me, they just want to know you understand and "get" their emotions. Hit a pillow, tell him you understand you're mad, upset, etc. Make a "naughty/timeout spot that isn't the bedroom.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:20 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • look him in the eye and tell him in a firm voice it is NOT ok to hurt people then put him in a two min time-out. if he comes out of the time out it starts over. if he can talk tell him to say he is sorry.
    Also he may be jealous of his sister(s) so when he is good pay lots of attention to him & give him praise high fives,stickers, hugs etc. Let him know him know you love him each time his time out is done tell him I love you but i don't like it when you hurt your sister(s). spend half hour alone time with him each day so he can feel special.

    Answer by maiahlynn at 10:20 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • I do not think its jealously. He has more medical needs than his sister. I mentioned her needs because they are physical and she cannot get away. But he gets LOTS of attention. His sisters are gone all morning(one all day) and we go outside play for a good portion of that day. So he gets lots of one and one time. I will continue to try timeouts and firmly saying no. But usually he smacks me or scratches me in return. SEE???

    Answer by rosesNclovers at 10:32 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • bump...don't know if that works in answers but I really need some help! right now hes sitting next to me eating cereal and being sweet.

    Answer by rosesNclovers at 10:55 PM on May. 11, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.