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How many of you are or once were "commitaphobes"?

I am dating this amazing guy but may have messed it up all ready...thinking back it seems any serious guys I've dated I am the one who finds a minor flaw and mess it all up. I am by no means expecting perfection...I dont know whats wrong with me.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:27 PM on May. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • I'd seek some help if I really believed what you're saying to be true. You obviously have some issues and will not be completely happy in a relationship until you are able to recognize and overcome your problems.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:31 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • I am like this in all areas of my life.. It just spills over to relationships. I don't like to commit to anything for fear it will ruin my day. I get worse as I get older. I hate commitments!!!


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • Not sure what to tell you other than most things in life have to have commitments... cell phones unless you go prepaid, insurance, rent etc... think of the big picture.
    What about with your children? You're committed to being their Mom, and a good one I hope.
    You could be with a man the rest of your life (same man) and if you don't want to commit, then don't live with them, date forever, or agree that marriage isn't an option.
    But I'd still get some therapy of some sort and fix your problem before it destroys you or your children pick up on this and are just like you.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:36 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • I used to be a commitment-phobic. For me it was the fear of settling for less than the best deal.
    Eventually, you need to make a conscious decision to make a decision by "x" date. Do your research, knowing that you need to make a decision by a certain date.

    This works for me in every area of my life, from grocery shopping, to finding a perfect outfit, to buying a car/house or a husband.

    Don't settle, but you need to TRUST yourself to make a good decision.

    Answer by twin_mommy at 11:54 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • I tell them up front don't fall in love bc I'm not havin' it. I can't commit but neither can SO and we don't live together so it's all good. If I feel I'm getting too close to someone I'll push them away for a while. he does the same thing so I figure we both got bit by the commitaphobe bug!

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:09 AM on May. 12, 2009

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