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positive ways for a toddler to release his anger/frustration?

i want to set a good example for my son, who will be 2 next month, on how to handle his emotions better, but i'm afraid i am not very good at it myself. i tend to have a short temper and i yell a lot. so i'm working on that, but i've noticed he screams and yells when he's angry or upset, and recently he's been letting out his frustration by hitting the couch (or other things nearby). while i don't think its necessarily bad, i don't want him to move on to hitting people or animals. what is a good way for him to release all that pent up anger and emotions? obviously i need something that is safe for both him and his surroundings, and something that helps him to calm himself down, too

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llansky

Asked by llansky at 11:48 PM on May. 11, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (6)
  • I have started to hold my daughter, who is 2 1/2, when she lashes out. Not only does she hit/throw things, but she tries hitting me. I sit her on my lap and hold her arms down (gently, more in a loving manner than a controlling one.) Once she's finished wiggling, we go back to what we were doing. Try to see if your son likes drums. He can bang and make alot of noise while learning how to be musical! :)
    MommyDumDum

    Answer by MommyDumDum at 11:52 PM on May. 11, 2009

  • We have anger issues in our house, or patience issues I guess. I am a yeller and I am to reactive, so my kids are now acting like me and that scares me. So we've started something new that works really well. We talk about breathing away our frustration. When anybody starts to get irritated, angry, impatient etc. We say "breathe it out" and we all join that person in quiet long breaths. If we are home we set the timer for 1 minute and just close our eyes and breathe deeply. It lowers the heart rate, is very medatative and relaxing, calming. We had fun learning to do it, made it a goal, and a game. I've even started every morning with about 5 minutes of alone time just sitting still and breathing deeply, focusing on my day. It works really well for us.
    puddleybug

    Answer by puddleybug at 12:03 AM on May. 12, 2009

  • Good idea puddleybug!
    malindasb

    Answer by malindasb at 12:26 AM on May. 12, 2009

  • I have heard of the first method but not the breathing. Both good ideas. I taught my kids to hit pillows not people! I don't know, worked for us!
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 12:27 AM on May. 12, 2009

  • We are dealing with this in our home as well. My son is 7....I am the same as you. I tend to get emotional and have outbursts. I know he learned it from me, although I don't hit things or throw things. I constantly have to pray when my son has this outbursts. I pray that I won't get frustrated and yell back in anger because obviously it won't solve the problem. Right now we are just doing the tough love thing. We usually will wrap our arms around him and quietly tell him to calm down. We continue to talk with him about his anger. We are not sure what the next step is in showing him how to manage the outbursts before they happen......I know I am not much help. Just wanted to let you know we are in the same boat.
    blg119

    Answer by blg119 at 10:52 AM on May. 12, 2009

  • get a bop it.Blow it up like a float and bottom is weighted he can hit it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:04 AM on May. 17, 2009

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