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i need avice so i can try and help my df

my df has been depressed lately he really hasnt told me much besides he doesnt feel like his self anyways his dad died in 07 of cancer and his mom had cancer but is fine now and i think that might have alot to do with it and i dont think he has grived really about his dad but im not to good with talking bout stuff like that with him or really anyone and neither is he i told him he can talk to me and he said i know it just feels weird to him cuz he never has done it with past relationships and stuff can any one help me?????? no smart coments please thank you

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Asked by myangelelena at 12:34 AM on May. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Level 8 (234 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • is df darling fience?? any way sounds like you are going to have to get him to talk or maybe go see a counsler about it if you guys cant seem to talk about wat is bothering him!! at least you are worried and u do care about how he is feeling! that the first step

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 AM on May. 12, 2009

  • df is darling fience he say he doesnt know what is wrong with him every time i ask he says he dont know he dont feel like himself is there anyway to help make it easier for him to open up?????/

    Answer by myangelelena at 12:50 AM on May. 12, 2009

  • People grieve in different ways and it takes a different amount of time for everyone. Has he had any other big life change, job loss, breakup, etc? Could be he's also afraid if both parents had cancer, there's a chance he's at risk down the road too. It's good you opened up the lines of communication for him. I find when dealing w/ uncomfortable stuff the best thing to do is face it head on. Just say it out loud so he's not so alone with the death, so it's not taboo to talk about it. The worst thing people can do when someone dies, is shy away. Tell him it's okay to be sad and feel a little frightened. Tell him he can at least learn to look for early signs in himself and be more aware. Tell him you'll be there and that in time it'll improve.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 12:51 AM on May. 12, 2009

  • he has to work through this. Have you ever read the book Men are from Mars and Women from Venus? It tells you that men need time alone in their "man cave" to work this out. Just be supportive. He'll tell you what he needs from you.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:01 AM on May. 12, 2009

  • He may just want to be left alone. A lot of people are like that...they want to work through it themselves and talking doesn't help. But if he's NOT that type....Was his dad in hospice care? You might be able to get some help there.

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:35 AM on May. 12, 2009

  • if you live in a bigger city you may want to try and seek out grief counceling. they are free and meet in local churches or community centers. i see them advertised in the local paper, craigslist, hospital bulletins and such. they are usually group based discussions led by a councelor who could help him talk with other people going thru the same thing. good luck to you guys, i hope he is able to work thru this and get better soon.

    Answer by that_one_chick at 8:49 AM on May. 12, 2009

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