Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you discipline other peoples kids when the parent is in the room?

I have been getting to frustrated lately. I have a good friend who recently started yelling at and disciplining my daughter when I am right there with her. And it is usually for little things that she does not need to be yelled at for. I make it a point not to do so to her daughter just for respect. I do not think it is appropriate to do that. Now, if the parent is not around, I see nothing wrong with doing so. What do you think? And should I say something?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:04 PM on May. 12, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (81)
  • If the child is in my home, I will discipline.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • I would say something I think it's out of line to take charge of someones kids while they're present... I would say something like' I'm here do you need help with disciplining my child?' she should get the hint I don't think there are many instances when someone should be 'yelling' at my daughter anyways.

    Answer by mizsaxton at 2:07 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • What was you daughter doing and was she yelling or just saying stop

    Answer by NicholeAT at 2:08 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • For my own personal standard, I do not speak out on other peoples children if the parent is in the room. I feel they need to be given a chance to deal with the issue. If I jump in too quickly then that parent hasnt been given the opportunity to deal with it in the way they would like. If the parent isnt watching, then I might say, hey, don't hit, Okay? If my child isnt involved, then I usually stay out of it. Or I might mention that the child might get hurt to the parent. If the parent is not there, then I would obviously deal with the child in a respectful and kind way. Especially if they might get hurt or are hurting another child. But I feel that my authority should be respected and not abdicated so I do the same courtesy for other parents. If that parent refuses to deal with their child and its affecting my child, then I might speak up and say something.

    Answer by momofsaee at 2:08 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • Depends on my relationship with the parent, and what the child is doing. Example, I discipline my best friends son, and she does the same with mine, but a couple my husband and I just met brought their daughter over and she got into something I simply removed her and said "we don't do that".

    Answer by AnnHenderson at 2:09 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • If i am close to the kids and the parents then i will discipline the kid. But I make a point to make sure if it is ok with the parents FIRST!!! You should definatly say something. If you don't want your kids to be treated like that then stand up for her. I wouldnt be rude just make your point clear.

    Answer by Amanda7891 at 2:10 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • I don't 'discipline' per say, I would never punish another persons child but I will tell them not to do something like 'don't climb that fence, be careful crossing the road' and such like that.

    I was a nanny and then a camp councillor and then a nanny again and then a mother. It's pretty habitual for me to just parent small people around me.

    Answer by TabathaM at 2:10 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • I was the original poster and it has been asked about what my daughter did. The last time she got in trouble by my friend, she was simply giving the other little girl a hug and the two fell over and then started laughing. No one got hurt and they went about playing after my daughter got into trouble. I am just to the end of my rope and I don't think I can keep my mouth shut about it much more.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • I don't think you should ever discipline a child that isn't yours, maybe explain your house rules "we don't hit in this house" then mention the incident to the parent,.if her house rules are different then yours I think you should tell you daughter that "we don't do that at so and so's house", I don't think that there's ever a good reason to yell at a kid, especially if it's not yours. i would sit your friend down and discuss the things that she does not want to happen at her house, so everyone is clear, and then make it very clear that she is NOT to discipline or yell at your daughter again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • I do have an instance where I do speak up.....My best friend and I shop a lot together and her youngest is 4 and my youngest is 3. We always have them. I notice that shes not quite as attentive in the store with her child. She lets him run around and run underneath clothes and generally it doesnt bother her. I am a bit more conscientious of my childs behavior. Its okay to play and have fun, but its not okay to run around the store, knock clothes over and disturb other shoppers. I feel sometimes when we go out that I am the one watching the boys because she is i her "retail world" and isnt paying attention. I have no problem telling them to stop running or stay with us or to stop talking loudly or whatever. It doesnt seem to bother her and if it does, she hasnt said anything. I am not going to be shopping with out of control children.

    Answer by momofsaee at 2:12 PM on May. 12, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in General Parenting