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I need sex help. (TMI?)

I am with the most wonderful awesome man. I cant imagine being more blessed. But i have never once orgasamed in my life. How do i do it? Sometimes i think/feel like i'm getting close ...and sometimes i'm not sure if i have or not. Will i know? How do i know?
I plan on getting some counseling because i feel like some of the problem might be psychological. I was molested as a child for several years. But what can i do to help with my problem until then?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on May. 12, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • oh you won't ask if you had when you have one,. you know. i have the same problem. it's been very few times i have. never with my new husband. if you get a good answer please pass the info to me on how to have one, i have gotten counseling too but although that has help me a lot i still can't i just have a mental block. i get so close then i just shut down. like turning a switch off. i'm thinking of getting sex therapy instead to help me with the sexual issues rather then the men issues i worked on,

    Answer by melody77 at 4:01 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • have you ever tried a vibrator to see if maybe you just needed a lil more stimulation?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:57 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • practice with a vibrator. I know lots of woman are too embarrassed to masturbate, but any sex therapist will tell any woman that it is the best way to learn her own body. I could not orgasm until i bit the bullet & bought me a vibrator. I now can orgasm like a pro. If it was not for that handy dandy lil toy, i would still be in the same boat & upset that i never "get my share" when making love.


    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:58 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • a lot of women do not have orgasms with just intercourse its just how it is.... you can try ways to stimulate your other areas such as a vibrator .... they really do work

    Answer by jaksonsmommy at 4:06 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • Clitoral Stimulation

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • I can only orgasm by masterbation or a vibrator! I have only ever had one orgasm from a man and thats when I was 16 years old, I am now 32. IT IS VERY FRUSTRATING! My husband doesnt try very hard so it has lead me to cheat wih my ex for the past 6 months, and I have been married for 5 1/2 years, which is wrong, but he (my ex) just walks in the room and I am "ready to go" LOL. And I get more out of my ex (effort wise) then anyone I have ever been with. He is married also, but his wife cheats on him too, so its a fair trade! Neither of us EVER have sex with our spouses because they dont seem to have interest, or only want to do it once a month, which gets OLD FAST! I say try the vibrator, I have an easier time masterbating with my middle finger on my clitoris. Thats what works for me!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:09 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • You need to learn how your body works. Vibrators are your best friend in this area. Stick with clitoral stimulation till you have an orgasm. Once you do, itwill be easier to get there.

    I understand the phyc part. I was molested as a child. It took me years to figure out how to just let go.

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 4:14 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • Betty Dodgeson (an AWESOME sex therapist/advice columnist) reccomends getting amirror and getting comfortable with your lady parts. After, gets some lube, or spit, or whatever, and just explore without thinking too much about what feels good.. just explore.

    Answer by guitarlove at 4:19 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • well first how old are you? i reach orgasm best if i am on top. not to give tmi but when ur clititoris is rubbin on his pelvic bone it stimulates u and ur more likely to achieve an orgasm. or maybe try it from behind. some times if he can manually stimulate u as well as penatrate u can get off fairly quickly. i used to read alot of cosmopolitian and they give alot of tips on how to achieve ur maxium sexual peeks. hope i helped.

    Answer by audreybaby at 4:19 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • also, use your vibrator during sex w/ him.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:29 PM on May. 12, 2009