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What should I do? Who is right?

My husband and my father don't get a long, due to the fact my husband keeps loosing jobs and my father has ALWAYS had a job and taken care of his own family(which he started at 17) my husband is 26, and we're expecting our second child, I'm due in June, we're having a scheduled c section and I would really like my dad to be there, he lives in Florida and we live in North Carolina, he came up for the birth of our son, and I want him by my side, we're very close, talk on the phone several times a day and he is not well also he would be bringing my grandma with him, who is 90 years old, it just means a lot that they get to meet her.

but my husband refuses to be at the hospital if my dad comes, he's being so childish(so I think) he was yelling at me over this, he doesn't understand that this means a lot to me.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:09 PM on May. 12, 2009 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • You are right and your husband is being childish. This is YOUR father, how dare he give you an ultimatum about supporting you during the birth of HIS child because you want a relationship with your father!

    Here's the thing, no one is ever good enough for daddy's little girl. If he doesn't have a job and has trouble providing for you, I can imagine any father would be upset. How would your husband feel as a father if his daughter's husband had problems keeping work?! If your husband is allowed to be concerned about his children than your father is allowed to be concerned about YOU.

    I'm sorry, I'm just completely gobsmacked that a husband would take out his own feelings about his FIL on his child by missing their birth. If my husband said that to me, he'd be sleeping in the car, I'll tell you that right now. He needs to ask himself "am I so upset over this because my FIL has a POINT?"

    Answer by NovemberLove at 6:57 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • I agree he i sbeing childish! He's just mad because your Dad is just calling him out on him sh**.(sounds like to me anywyas)

    Answer by Amanda7891 at 5:11 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • I dont see why your husband is acting this way. If they mean that much to you and you would like them there then he should ok with that. My husband isnt to fond of my mom but i told him when i go into labor im calling her and shes going to be on the first plane she can get out here. And hes ok with that. I hope everything works out. Sit down with him and tell him how you feel. Make sure he knows how much it means to you.

    Answer by Shelii at 5:12 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • Well I do agree with you that your husband is behaving childish if he can't get over himelf for the birth of your child. said you wanted your father there by your side. Do you mean literally by your side in the operating/delivery room where the c-section will be performed? You typically only get one visitor with you in the room during a c-section and that should be for the father of the baby....your husband, not your father. Your father and grandmother have every right to be there and see the baby after he or she is delivered, but your husband should be with you for the actual c-section and birth.

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 5:12 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • My dad and husband are the same way. Although they dont hate eachother (Yet) We live with them. YIKES!!!!!

    Im sure your husband wouldnt NOT be there for the birth of your child just because your father came . He might just be saying that to get you to tell your dad to NOT come.

    I am so sorry you are in this position. I feel like thats how my husband and father will be soon. Im also due in june, but no c-section i will have a V BAC!

    Good luck hunnie!

    Answer by mommyofAurora at 5:13 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • I agree he's being childish. It's ok not to want to see somebody, but for an occasion like this, you should put your differences aside and enjoy the special moment.

    Answer by MoneySaver at 5:15 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • Thank you ladies for the help!

    And no I didn't mean that I want my dad in the delivery room, of course I want my husband there! lol

    I just want moral support yah know, and my dad is almost 65 and grandma is 90, I want them to ATLEAST see her!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:15 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • Okay lol had to be sure. Tell your husband that you can't expect him to FORCE you to choose him over your father and that he needs to toughen up and be a man!

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 5:20 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • Personaly i know how you feel my father thinks the same as yours about my husband. But you should really just tell your husband that if he loves you which i better, that he will suck it up for you and make it clear to both father and husband that the hospital will be a war free zone no fighting or bickering other wise they can both get out and no one but your grandma can see the baby. That should help. If nothing else try and reason with your dad and see if HE will call a truse. Guys are stupid at times but i think your husband will get over it

    Answer by rockmom89 at 6:37 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • If FIL has no point, there's no need for DH to get so upset. Seriously. Why put a pregnant woman in the middle of your drama? Why is he taking it out on you?

    Answer by NovemberLove at 6:58 PM on May. 12, 2009