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Does this seem counteractive to you?

My boyfriend's son has a hard time getting ready for school in the mornings because he is continually watching TV. He is 7, has a TV in his room, eats breakfast in his room. Well, he watches TV instead of eating. He then will keep the TV on instead of getting dressed. The boy is only there one school day a week, but it is really rough on both son and father I think. He doesn't brush his teeth or his hair or wash his face because he doesn't have time. So I suggested removing the TV from his room until he proved that he could be responsible. JUST A SUGGESTION. My boyfriend decided that was fine, but felt guilty so now gives him two hours of video games on the school night he is there, and 3 hours of video game time on the weekends he is there. (Up from 1 hour) Son doesn't care about the TV as long as he gets more video game time! He is thrilled. I mean, he will probably be better prepared for school, but did he learn anything?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:36 PM on May. 12, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • This sounds a lot like our situation with my stepson's bio mom. She loves video games, so does my husband. However, at home(husband has 80% time) he is not allowed to play on school nights and he gets about an hour of game time with either me or husband on Saturdays. We just feel that is not the way we want him learning how to spend his time. However, he has openly said that the main reason he likes going to his moms house is because of video games. She believes that punishment should carry from home to home so when he looses game privileges here, he does there too. This last time husband told her about his last incident, she said "I have no idea what we are going to do now since we can't play games." And meant it. His son learned that dad is a pushover, he still got his way. In fact, in his mind, he probably traded up. He can handle no TV for the what...hour he is supposed to be preoccupied in the morning for the games.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 5:47 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • he learned dad is a sucker! Get rid of both video games and tv they dont do any good for him UNLESS he is playing strict educational games and watching educational movies which I doubt a seven year old is. Because he is addicted to it I would take it all away that is teaching him he can get his way and its okay even though its ruining his life. Make a game night in its place, or a night out at a game place...do it twice a week instead of twice a night. Those are suppose to be treats not habits. GL
    Bugsmommy1908

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 5:40 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • My son has had a tv in his room from a early age, was and is allowed to watch whatever and whenever from birth. He has movies and video games galore....yet, my child hardly watches tv or play video games..he would rather be outside. So, just because it's there doesn't mean a child will become addicted or be lazy or slow. Your BF Son however, has an issue as it is interfearing with life. So, I agree with you on this one. Maybe dad needs to spend more time with him doing other things.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 5:44 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • I think that the child is not your son and you could let the bio parents sort things out. You could provide your input to boyfriend but nothing more. There is a thin line between well intentioned and not your business, he is your boyfriend not your husband, the child is his and the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Stay out of it.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 5:50 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • OP HERE

    I am not saying the TV is the problem, or even the video games. I am more concerned about the lesson my boyfriend is unknowingly teaching here. My daughter has a TV in her room, but she only watches it when she is sick. Otherwise, we are playing board games or going outside or coloring or something where she engages her brain. She LOVES To read. I don't think that his son is ready to handle a TV in his room. But at his mom's house, he has a TV in his room, but they something similar to Mom1Stepmom1 from what I understand. He only gets some TV time after homework and chores, and only gets game time on weekends there and he does alright with that stipulation. She also doesn't have a hard time getting him to school. Honestly, I am embarrassed for him when I see him for school. We don't live together, but we carpool. So I pick him up in the morning for work and I drop off Mitch at school the one day boyfriend has him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:52 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • OP here

    I am really done making my suggestions to my boyfriend, I just kind of wanted to see what others thought. He hasn't told Mitch's mom yet, but she suggested before I did that he remove the TV from the room if it was really causing that much problem. He knows that she will be upset, but won't say anything about the video game increase. She disapproves of their, I guess the best way to put this is "media addiction." But she also understands that his dad has a right to make the rules in his house how she sees fit, so she won't say anything about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:56 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • That's kind of dumb. My kids have a TV in their room but it only plays DVD and they are only allowed to turn it on with permission and it doesn't go on in the morning. Then again they rarely get dressed in their room, lol. They bring their uniforms downstairs and get dressed in the living room or their little sister's room.
    They do watch TV in the living room in the morning (because they get up before I do) but if I notice they are watching more TV then getting ready it gets turned off.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 7:07 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • That is dumb. I don't allow TVs in any room besides the livingroom. I only allow an hour of videogames and the kids must earn them by reading. Yeah, he has learned that dad is a sucker.
    mlregalado

    Answer by mlregalado at 7:42 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • This sounds like a kid who will be fat, unmortivated and anti-social. I feel so sorry for this child. Meals should be shared by families; children need the social interaction and need to learn table manners.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:15 AM on May. 13, 2009

  • OP here

    That would be the case, Rkoloms, if it weren't for his mom I think. He is a completely different child there, but the boundaries are set and he understands them. He also knows that mom won't bend like dad does. So there is no point to push it. At least that is the way I see it. Plus she is very into routine and I personally believe that children thrive in routine and structure. He is very well adjusted when he is with his mom. Some of the responses have brought up some emotions in me I didn't really know I had, and I thank you ladies for that. Thanks for all of your opinions.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 AM on May. 13, 2009

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