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Was I wrong for not letting my sister stay at our house with us?

Here is the story and its long but needs to be said my sister is 20 almost 21, has no job, and is well "enjoying life" right now, currently she is staying with her birth father here in the state that we live in about two hours away from us, well my DF and I are getting marride in June and her father decided that he and his wife were going to NY for a while a she cannot stay at their house alone so my mom asked me if she could stay with us for a month until the wedding because she REALLY wants to be there, well I said no, first of all we just cannot afford it right now things are tough and we have very little and children to support also, and on top of that anytime I have let my sister stay wth me before she has never helped out with anything always made messes, stolen things from me including money, never contributed to anything, she has lied about lots of things had people over that I didnt know, brought drugs into my house->

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:56 PM on May. 12, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I think your sister is 21 years old she really needs to think about how she can be a member of the working society. Whatever you do, do not let your family pressure you into giving in. because your relationship with your df needs to be worked on now because the first few years are the hardest in married life.
    MelaMama111

    Answer by MelaMama111 at 12:24 PM on May. 13, 2009

  • cont----and just caused alot of stress, and right now between the wedding and trying to pay bills, my DF only gets half of his checks because the other half gets taken for CS, we are struggling this month especially because of the wedding next month, but for some reason my mom always thinks I should just be able to let her stay and no matter what I do or say I am the bad guy, which I dont think is fair at all. So was I really wrong for saying no she cant stay here? Should I have let her stay AGAIN?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:58 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • No. You need to worry about your family. You have kids to support and a big day to plan. Why cant she stay with your mom? IMO her past behavior would be enough for me to say no. I wouldnt want that around my kids.
    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 6:01 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • She IS ur sister.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • Well my mom lives in a different state right now (I really wish she wuld move back here) and I know she is my sister but why do I always have to be the responsible one, I just cant hande the stress right now, I have WAAAAAY too much else going on
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:06 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • You weren't wrong at all..if you don't want your sister staying with you then you don't have to let her stay with you. I think you made the right decision to not let her stay with you.
    kimosgirl08

    Answer by kimosgirl08 at 6:07 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • It's your home. Do what you think is right for you and your family. Or tell her to wait until her birth father leaves and then go back in and stay at his house.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:09 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • No you were not wrong because your sister is disruptive to your household and you shouldnt allow anyone to do that. I definitely would not let a Thief and a Liar stay in my household because you worked to hard for what you got to let someone steal from you and lie to you. If she does that who knows what else she would do. The well being of your household comes first. Can she go stay with your mom then?
    momofonewntmore

    Answer by momofonewntmore at 6:30 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • Op here and yes I guess her and my mom worked it out so that she is going to come out here and get her and bring her back to her house to stay, which I feel bad that she has to but I cant help it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:41 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • Sometimes tough love is whats best. I wouldn't allow someone, family or not, stay with me that had brought drugs into my home where my children are.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:36 PM on May. 12, 2009