Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Would you go?

My Grandmother is in really bad health,and may not make it to Christmas.My mom and I have a really bad history with something really bad that happened when I was a kid.She had married a child molester who came after me,she refused to leave him,I couldn't forgive her,she blames me for the problems between us now,and we are estranged now.So...when my Granny passes,how do I deal with the funeral?All but 2 of my family members back her up.Do I go and leave,suck it up and deal,or what?My Grandma backs my mom,but I still love her.I want to say goodbye,but I know my mom will start something.She doesn't care about where she is,she'll throw down backed by her sister.

 
TMJ121099

Asked by TMJ121099 at 6:21 PM on May. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Level 7 (186 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • I would go visit Grandma before too, it's better to get to say goodbye in person and I love you one more time.
    As for the funeral... personally I'd tell your Grandma that out of respect for her, you won't be attending because that day will be about a celebration of her life, and a time of mourning and you don't want to make it in to a family dispute. That you love her and you know that some people will never believe what happened, did happen, and that's okay, because you know it did.
    Sometimes people really do believe it, but they can't admit it, and I've discovered that most people that swear that couldn't have happened... are also survivors themselves and have been taught that the victim is actually the one to blame. Which is so very untrue. Sometimes really late in life they'll finally confess that it did happen to them to and they didn't want to open old wounds so they had to disbelieve it to be able to do that.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:50 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • i would go and do what you have to do but leave as soon as your mom starts in with you. Its hard in your situation but you will always regret not saying goodbye
    Amanda7891

    Answer by Amanda7891 at 6:27 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • I would go, visit b4 she passes so you dont feel you have any guilt afterwards. Attend the funeral, give your granny respect and if your mother cant help but cause trouble, then be the bigger person and walk away. you will know you did the right thing by visiting and attending. You'll feel at peace
    CJK_2009

    Answer by CJK_2009 at 6:28 PM on May. 12, 2009

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN