Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I respond to this besides screaming to the top of my lungs?

My dh and I got into a big fight last night. He quit smoking a while back and said that I should quit drinking since he quit smoking. Well I was pregnant then so I wasnt drinking anyway. Well I had the baby in January and I have only had a few drinks since then. Well I never agreed that I would quit drinking but he gets in front of our friends and says that he made me quit drinking since he quit smoking. Well last night we were over at a friends house and I had a few drinks and I made them while he was out of the room to avoid confrontation in front of our friends. well that made the situation even worse. When we left he screamed all the way home , for an hour after we got home and we haven't spoke all day long. I smoke too by the way so he is looking at it like he made a sacrifice and I should do the same thing. The way I see it is im kinda stressed right now with a 3yr old and a 4mth old & he shouldnt push it right now

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:32 PM on May. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • how childish you have to "sneak" drinks i feel the same way as your hubby he gave up something for you you should od the same....

    Answer by brandnew744 at 6:35 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • Why can't you quit drinkikng? Because of stress? Isn't that why ppl smoke? And he still stopped right? Now if you only drink like every 3 months or so and it is only a drink or two then that isn't a big deal I sopose...but they way I heard you say it (type it lol) I get the impression it is something you do often. If I were you I would be supportive by not drinking.

    Answer by ShannonLeigh02 at 6:45 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • Oh and if you really don't wanna give up your drinks...try to quit smoking too =) That would REALLY show him you are supportive of him =)

    Answer by ShannonLeigh02 at 6:47 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • do what you think is right but keep in mind the idea of second hand smoke to your children and every time you put your little one up to your clothes (like to burp) that child is forced to breathe the residue of the flaming plant you covered yourself in. What if the child is allergic to it? I am and my mom (smoker) almost killed me when my throat swelled shut. Do what you want. You are an adult. Drink until you puke. Smoke until you get cancer. Who cares? Just let your husband know who you want helping him raise your kids. Oh, maybe you could drink and drive. That might be real smart too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:08 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • Tell him to shut the fuck up because he doesnt own you.

    Some of the ladies on here need to put on Leslie Gore's You Don't Own Me.

    Great song, you will learn a lot, and let your man listen to it.

    Answer by MammaBella at 7:25 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • High-five MammaBella!! Tell it like it is!!

    Answer by Fallaya at 7:43 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • From the way you posted it, you were drinking quite often and maybe he's thinking that you were developing if not developed a problem with it.
    Did he quit smoking to save money? A drink every now and then isn't going to hurt you, but if it's as bad as you made it sound, maybe you should consider making some changes.
    The sneaking thing made me think of an alcoholic that has bottles hid all thru the house (not saying that's your case at all).
    No one can make you want to quit smoking or drinking, it's something that you have to want to do or it will never work anyway. It would make me mad for him taking the credit (or trying to) if I did quit either of them.
    Not trying to be mean, but just by your wording... ask yourself with open mind if you drank a little more than normal before to see if he's trying to help you kick a bad habit.
    Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:43 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • It sounds like he has some deep concerns about you drinking. Why is he mentioning you quitting drinking when you are pregnant if you werent drinking? And I have to agree with Lisa ann - the sneaking the drinks thing as you describe it makes it sound like there may be an issue there.

    Wait till yourself and hubby calm down and try to really talk to him about it. No, he does not own you and cant tell you what to do, but he may have some concerns that he needs to get off his chest.

    Answer by dragonfly7271 at 8:44 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • I think you have a drinking problem.Most mothers don't drink and smoke to handle stress.I have three kids and I never drink not even socially.If I am stressed I take a walk and put the kids in the stroller.I have young kids too.I don't think you should tell your man to shut the fuck up like mama bella is telling you too.She has no class.I think your kids deserve for their mom not to have a drinking problem.Mama Bella you are not a doctor so you do not know if she has a drinking problem or if she has issues and is using drinking to cover it up.I think your husband deserves better.I am not going to go and read a dumb book when it is not to hard to figure out that she has a drinking problem.Great example for her kids.I feel sorry for your husband.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:04 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • All you idiots need to go back and READ the fucking post. She said she was'nt drinking while she was pregnant, and she has only had a few drinks since she has had the baby. That does'nt make her an addict. It sound's like all of you are a bunch of patty duke-esqe freaks. Why the hell do you have to be such judgemental hen peckers? So what if you don't ever drink? La de fucking da. Some people enjoy a drink socially and that does not make them bad parents! News flash, your life does'nt end after you have children.

    Answer by Candice369 at 9:54 PM on May. 12, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.