Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how to deal with my man not even saying hi to me when he gets home from work or ever talking to anyday!!!!

Iv been going crazy trying to find something that would get him to see me, he told me to back off of him because of bills and stress so i did just that and took care of the house and our 2 kids and his son. I have always take in care of that for him because i know he works hard at what hes does. All i tryed to talk to him about is I need sometime with him also just at least five mins or so even when he didnt have a job he just sat in the couner and played on his computer, up all hours of thee night doing that. I would ask hm 2 come and sit with me and say hi and he does get so mad and say hes always has do what i say, no thats not it i just asked to see him talk to him i feel so alone. I have alot to deal with to but i want him to want me as much as i want him i feel he doesnt. He has said he not instered in what im doing, he dont have to do what i say,thats not what i was asking. i just want2 see how him day went and tel mine

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:46 PM on May. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I just read an article today on Lovefraud.com about being ignored, how that silence can be deadly for a relationship and how badly it makes the other person feel when treated like that. Many men do it to keep his mate in her "place" or to punish her. Sad but they do it. You may have to find a way to get attention from friends and family and accept that he's not going to give it until he wants to. Sorry.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:51 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • I've looked at a book about this. Apparently it's a common problem. Guys don't really like to talk. It drives me nuts too. I refuse to live the rest of my marriage in silence, even though I know my dh can't help it. I mean, my sister's dh talks A LOT. I am so envious of her. I'm seriously thinking of leaving my dh for awhile because of this.It's like being married by myself!
    tigerlily721

    Answer by tigerlily721 at 7:56 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • You may want to check on what he is doing on the computer all night. Unfortunately, if you husband is barely speaking to you, and gets mad when you want to spend some time with him, there may be something else going on. My DH did this to me for the longest time, and was on the computer until all hours, and I found out that he was talking to another women on the internet. Sorry, but this raises a red flag to me.
    dragonfly7271

    Answer by dragonfly7271 at 8:15 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • the first time my husband went through that I wrung my hands and made myself sick worrying about our relationship. Then life got busy next thing I knew he wouldn't leave me alone and I didn't really want to have anything to do with him. I guess I got so used to him not being with me that I just couldn't take the attention anymore. Anyway this last time he did that...I just let him. Instead I used it as a time to do what ever I wanted. I mean if he's not going to pay attention to me then I go out with friends. I go get a book and just chill. I take nice baths. I pamper myself and do things to make ME happy. I don't dwell on what is wrong. I have this theory that sometimes relationships close in on men. They may feel smothered or "controlled" yeah I've had that one thrown at me. But let me tell you as soon as he sees that I don't care that he won't get off the computer (and mind you there was this one time that we...
    SandraRh

    Answer by SandraRh at 9:13 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • barely spoke for 3 weeks. But next thing I know he's begging me for attention. Funny how soon as he sees me interested in something other than him he's all about what ever I'm doing!
    SandraRh

    Answer by SandraRh at 9:14 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • Oh and I didn't have to worry about cheating. I don't know if you should worry about that or not. It is why I just left him be. If I thought he was cheat that would be a whole 'nother issue!
    SandraRh

    Answer by SandraRh at 9:15 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • im sry your going through this. im home alone all day and when my husband gets home from work i always want him to talk to me or something even if its sit by me on the couch but all he did for about 2 months was sit on his chair and go to sleep. that was it. and he would get mad at me when i woke him up to head to bed with me. but things got better when work started to get better for him.
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 9:17 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • That is not a relationship. Him being rude to you is the problem I would say. Yes, he is acting like he's not into you and he is mean. I don't think the problem here is him not paying attention. It's that he doesn't care or want to hear what you have to say. It's like he is almost sick of you. I'm surprised you still want him and desire him even though he treats you like that. If I were you I'd get a babysitter and go out! Come home smelling like cigarettes and chatting with a friend on the phone about what you did that night. That should get his attention. And write him a letter if he won't listen. Curiosity is a sucker, he'll read a letter.
    Tickledtrauma

    Answer by Tickledtrauma at 9:18 PM on May. 12, 2009

  • They need to work together and go to counseling.I do not think she should leave him.why are you being so rude tickletrauma?A marriage is for good times and bad times.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on May. 12, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.